I’ve been doing a lot of research for my next project. It’s a big opportunity, so I want to make sure I get it right. One thing I know for sure, is that I want to shoot it in HD. That creates a whole mess of problems. For starters, I don’t have an HD camera. Kind of hard to shoot in HD, when I don’t have an HD camera. Second of all, I’ve never shot in HD before. I’m not sure how the camera is going to differ and what problems I’m going to run in to. Third of all, I don’t have the money to rent or buy an HD camera. Again, does anyone have like $5000 I can “borrow”? By borrow, I mean have. I could try what some guy did like a year ago. He took a bunch of pictures of a cute rabbit and put them up on a web site. Under the pictures basically said that he needed a certain amount of money and that if people didn’t donate it to him, he was going to kill and eat the rabbit. I remember one of the lines was “I swear to God, I will eat this cute little rabbit.” Under all of it was a pay pal link where people could donate. Shit, I almost donated, because I thought it was hysterical. He even had a picture of the rabbit in a frying pan. I think he made like $60,000 or something like that. All I need is $5000, I mean how hard could it be? I suppose it’s time to start thinking about what I can sell. Sigh, goodbye possessions. I’ll miss you.
Gabe is making good progress on Nice Guys Finish Last. I would say he’s about 30% through. Which is pretty good considering that he got the project late last week. It sounds like he’s putting a lot of thought in to it. We’ll probably change some stuff around. That’s just how it goes. This film making thing is kind of bullshit if you really think about it. This is my analogy of your chance of making it in this industry:
Lets say there were 1000 cups. 999 of them have ”NO” printed on the bottom of them and 1 has ”YES” printed on it. Lets say you had to find the one with “YES” on it. And lets say you happened to pick the one with “YES” on it. Inside that cup there would be a pebble with a random number from 1-10,000 on it. So, you take that pebble and put it in a random drawing with another 9,999 pebbles all with different numbers. In that drawing, they happen to pick your number. Great, now you get to throw a basketball at 4 nets from full court blind folded. If you make it in to the correct basket, you get to search the entire world looking for a golden Cheerio. And it could be anywhere. Even buried 3000 feet below the Atlantic ocean somewhere. Somehow though, you find out they cheated and put it on the moon. So, you go to the moon and get it, when you get back you take that Cheerio and find out that you have to play ring toss with it on a toothpick from 400 yards away. Through some act of God, it lands on the toothpick and now you get a 2% chance at making it in the industry because come to find out, about a million other people all did the same exact things you did, faster, better, and cheaper.
Really that’s probably an exaggeration, but you get the idea. In truth, I love making short films. Weather I’m shooting them on my cell phone or on a $10 billion dollar camera. When I say “I want to be a film maker” it doesn’t really make sense, because I already am a film maker. I’m not making money doing it, but I would do it for the rest of my life, even if I was making minimum wage doing it. Hell, I do it now, and most of the time, it costs me money. But I don’t do it for the end result, I just do it because I love it.
I’ll keep making them, as long as someone is watching them.
So, there’s a lot to talk about today. First off, I’ve finally transfered all of the footage for Nice Guys Finish Last this morning. I’ve just been lagging on it, mainly because the pile of tapes I had to tranfer was freaking huge and intimidating. Check it out:
Next to my Dexter Bobble head. I didn’t realize it, but Nice Guys Finish Last took 17 tapes. I’m working on something big right now and I can’t really devote any time to editing, so Gabe is going to pick this project up again. It should be a fairly fast editing job. It’s pretty straight forward. I totally forgot how funny the script for this film was. I was looking at some of the footage and it’s pretty damn funny. At one point Chris says that the movie Wild Things sucked. Which I felt bad about at first, but really it’s not me saying it sucked, it’s the characters. I don’t think that movie sucked, it’s just a funny subject to me. They released that movie on BluRay. I don’t know if that was really necessary, but I bet they sold a couple million copies. I know at least 20 people that would pay $25 to see Denise Richards and Neve Campbell get it on in true high def. There is a ton of totally unnecessary nudity in that movie. Some of that nudity includes a full frontal on Kevin Bacon. Totally unnecessary for Bacon to be nude for that scene and completely unexpected. It’s just like, BLAM, Bacon dick, full serving, right there.
How many times, has Kevin Bacon shown his dick on film? I remember in Hollow Man, we got a thermal read out on it in a couple of scenes. Weird thing to me, is that Kevin Bacon was a producer on Wild Things. So, I would think that he would have a big saying in weather his wang was shown on film or not. Makes me think that it was his idea.
Kevin Bacon: You know what I think this scene needs? Bacon dick. That’s right. USDA, choice, tender, and delicious Bacon Dick.
Director (John McNaughton): ……I don’t think that’s really necessary.
Kevin Bacon (serious): Bacon dick is ALWAYS necessary.
Director: ……Yeah……. No.
Kevin Bacon: Welp, I am producing this movie so, I’ll just cut your payment in half then.
Director: ………..Camera, go ahead and get a close up on Kevin Bacon’s dick then we’ll do some wide shots and a slow motion capture. Can we get some lighting over here please! I’m getting a weird shadow on his left nut!
Kevin Bacon (smiling and nodding): Oh yeah.
That’s how I imagine it went down. It’s too bad that the things that go on in my head aren’t nearly as awesome in reality. If I were Kevin Bacon, that’s how I would be. I would use this pick up line everyday of my life
“What up ladies?! I got two of your favorite foods in my pants! I got Bacon and I got….Well, you know what I’m talking about.”
Maybe
“You want a little BACON with that shake?!”
I’m going to stop to be polite to you. Anyway, I don’t think Wild Things is a bad movie.
Bacon dick aside, Censored was accepted to play in the Action on Film Festival. They haven’t nailed down the date of when it will be playing, but you can buy tickets here: Buy Tickets to the Action on Film Festival
Just follow the links, you’ll figure it out eventually. If you look on that list, you’ll see Censored listed there. There are a ton of films and it looks like it’s going to be a lot of fun. I’m still waiting to hear back from four other festivals. I’m pretty excited. Anyway, I’m off for now. I’ll keep you guys updated.
I entered Censored in to a film festival that makes it IMDB appropriate. I didn’t realize that I didn’t have to actually be accepted in to the festival, I just had to submit my short film. So, I get the E-Mail that tells me I can fill out the form to create an IMDB page. I go to IMDB and start the process of filling this thing out. It was the most unnecessarily complicated thing in the history of unnecessarily complicated things I’ve ever seen. First off, every section (even the title) has it’s own guidelines page that’s roughly a page long. Really IMDB? Seriously? We need an entire page explaining how to type in the title? Are they explaining this from the point of your computer being off or what?
“OK, there should be a big power button on your computer, push it and wait for your computer to load. Once it’s loaded, open up Internet Explorer, or Firefox, perhaps Opera, any Internet browser will do. If you’re accessing this site on a cell phone, there may not be a big power button on the front of it. That’s ok, just load up the browser.”
That’s what I pictured when I first saw it. I found it hilarious, because if you were reading that, clearly your computer was already on and the browser was already open. You see what I did there? Jesus, I’m such a clever bastard. Anyway, it’s actually rules and regulations behind each section. It’s somewhat mind numbing. By the end of it your like
“What the fuck?! Am I disarming a nuke?! I just wanted to type in the title!”
It makes you question everything about what you are doing.
“Did I type in the title correctly? Does it meet all the guidelines? It looks good. Can I move on? Is everything ok? Where am I?! What the fuck is going on?! Who am I?!”
It makes you kind of afraid of the next section. And when you get something wrong it like highlights it in red. Which is just as effective as having a person stand there yelling
“You got that wrong you stupid asshole!”
So, after you fill everything out, it gets sent to a representative at IMDB to check over. So I’ll probably get an E-Mail in 2 weeks regarding all the crap I filled out wrong.
Currently, I’m waiting for responses from The Action On Film International Film Festival and Woodstock Film Festival.
So, I’ve decided to submit short films to 5 festivals a month. I sent off 2 copies of Censored this morning. One of the festivals would add Censored and everyone in it to IMDB. Which would be pretty cool. I’ve set up a form where I enter all of the information in to Excel as I send them out. I couldn’t deal with just sending them out blindly. As for my success rate? So far, I’m 1 for 2. I’ve been rejected from 1 and accepted to another. I’m absolutely expecting rejection letters and E-Mails. That just seems to be the nature of the beast. When I finish editing Nice Guys Finish Last, I’ll start sending that one out. That one is a tough sell though. It’s probably going to run about 15 minutes and a short film that long is harder to get in to film festivals. O well. When I’m finished with Nice Guys Finish Last, I’ll probably concentrate on sending that out and see how it goes for a month or so. If it doesn’t work out, I’ll start sending Censored out again.
The only thing that sucks about film festivals is the fees. I mean, it makes sense, it just kind of sucks that your fee is kept regardless of weather you show at the festival or not. Couldn’t they at least send me a poster or something? Maybe a key chain that says “Rejected” on it? Or a T-Shirt that says “I paid $35 to submit to Blah Blah Film Festival and all I got was this shitty t-shirt?” I would rock that shit.
It’s been one disaster after another recently. Disasters, I can deal with, however, they cost me money. First, my garage broke. So I had to get that fixed. Then my garbage disposal broke. Weird, but whatever. It did turn in to kind of a fun adventure installing a new one. Then, my dishwasher broke. I still haven’t fixed it. I imagine it shouldn’t be that difficult. It’s probably just like replacing a garbage disposal only it’s way heavier. Fun. Then, today, while cleaning out my closet, my vacuum broke. I’m kind of wondering what’s going to be next. Seriously.
I bet your asking, why am I reading this bullshit? Isn’t this a web site about film making? Yeah, it is. But when you’re an independent film maker, costs such as these effect your “budgets.” Censored is playing at midnight on June 12th ith the San Francisco United Film Festival. I’m still unsure if I’m going or not. Might be fun, but with everything breaking, I’m not sure if it’s possible right now. Anyway, if you’re in that area, you can buy tickets here: San Francisco United Film Festival Tickets
P.S. You know how everyone always finds one random thing in a clutter filled closet? My random thing was 8 swords. No clue how they got there. It gave me a couple ideas for possible scripts though. Plus, I might be able to sell them to fix some of my broken shit.
I’m not exactly sure what this means, but you read it right. Censored is now playing at the San Francisco United Film Festival. I think that’s a good thing. I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to make it to the showing or not. I don’t want to go if shooting for Nice Guys Finished Last isn’t all done. The showing is going to be sometime in mid June. I should be able to pull it together by then.
The restaurant scene is done (thank Christ) and all of the other scenes are pretty straight forward and simple. We still have to shoot a scene where one of the girls jumps on Caine and makes out with him. I told the actress that it’s really less of a kissing thing and more of a mauling his face with her tongue sort of a thing. I always feel awkward about doing kissing scenes. I think it’s a lot to ask. I did it for Say Something and The Train Wreck.
When it really comes down to it though, a kissing scene really isn’t a big deal. I stressed about the ones that I have done, but really when it’s all said and done it’s 5 seconds of skin touching. It’s really not a big deal. As long as everyone is professional about it, it really isn’t a big deal. Maybe I should just stop worrying so much about them. I’ve always sort of shyed away from them when writing, I should probably stop doing that. I guess if I want to make this bigger, I should start walking and talking like a big time company. And a big time company would have no problems with asking actors to kiss on camera. Of course big time companies also pay their actors, but screw them, that’s not how I operate.
I’m watching Big, with Tom Hanks. The memorable piano scene just finished. Big is one of those movies that never gets old. Big is also one of the movies that makes me remember why I like movies so much. Big is essentially a comedy. But really, what makes it so good, is the fact that it has a pretty deep message associated with it. Basically, growing up can make people lose touch of what’s really important. All of that aside, Tom Hanks was fucking brilliant in that movie. He really does, pull off playing a kid really well. Plus Kitty (Debra Jo Rupp) from That 70’s Show has a small part in it. I’m serious, she plays Tom Hanks secretary Miss Patterson. A little useless movie knowledge for you. I totally want a pimp ass apartment like Tom Hanks has after he gets that job at the toy company. With a trampoline and bunk beds and all that cool 80’s shit in it.
Penny Marshall directed Big and then went on to direct Awakenings and A League of Their Own. Looking at IMDB, she directed one Episode of a TV series called A League of Their Own. Shit, I don’t remember them turning that in to a series. I can’t see it without Tom Hanks.
“There’s no crying! There’s no crying in baseball!”
Tom Hanks is one of the few people on this earth that has a funny yell. Nobody could have delivered that line better then Tom Hanks. Anyway, the episode was called Dottie’s Back. I think a better first episode would have been Evelyn’s Back. She was the one that you find out died at the end. It could have been a zombie series. That would have been awesome. I’ve never seen a zombie TV series before and giving it an obscure reference such as that would have amused me to no end. Actually, rereading that, I see that’s a shitty idea. What the hell is wrong with me? I feel I’ve gone too far. I’m just going to go.
I’ll keep you guys updated on the festival.
What do you do to get in to the film industry? Do you go to school and get a masters? Do you get a job as a file clerk or something for a studio and hope for the best? Do you just keep making short films and entering them in to film festivals and hope someone discovers you? Do you shoot a pilot and pitch it to different people?
I’m not sure. I’ll let you know when I figure it out.
