John Q. Phats Entertainment

Last night, I went to the SAG building in LA to watch Strictly Background.  It’s a documentary on extras.  I didn’t know this before, but people make a living by just working as extras.  This movie is about 10 extras trying to get by.  First off it was an unbelievable documentary.  I really enjoyed it.  I don’t think I’ll ever look at extras the same again.  I suppose you lose sight of it sometimes, but those people in the background moving around are actually people.  The documentary was kind of a jolt of a reminder of that.  I was just surprised that this sort of thing was a full time job.  I had no idea.  Some people are in it just because they love to be extras, others are in it because they want to be actors and they want something more out of it.  It was all really entertaining, funny at times, and emotional at others.  Afterwards there was a QA with the cast and crew. 
I thought that was awesome, aside from the mouthy bitch in the audience that would not shut the hell up and kept asking bullshit questions that nobody else cared about.  There always has to be one, doesn’t there?  After her third question I thought about smacking her in the back of the head with a chair or something.  Anything to shut her the hell up.  At one point she tried arguing with a casting director about how to make it in the industry.  Uhmmmmm, what?  He’s a been a casting director for 10+ years and you’re some mouthy bitch who can’t even get extra work.  Who do you think is going to win that battle?  That would be like me and Neil Armstrong sitting in a space ship and me looking over at him and saying
“No offense Neil.  But you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.” 
Anyway, you can Netflix it or buy it on DVD.  I would high recommend it, it’s an awesome documentary.  It’s very well done.  I actually took a friend with me that usually hates Documentaries and he even said it was really good.  It’s won 6 best documentary awards at various festivals.  Seriously, there’s no reason not to check it out.  You can check out the web site here.  There’s a link there to buy it on DVD.  For those aspiring film makers out there, it’s a good side view of the industry. 
After the viewing they let everyone mingle with the cast and crew.  For some reason, if I see someone on screen, no matter how big or small the movie or short film is, I am insanely nerveous when I meet that person.  My mind goes blank and all I can do is smile and tell them how awesome I thought they were.  They all probably thought I was on prozac or something.  I met the director and producer, I was fine.  Told him it was an awesome documentary, we talked a bit.  I met the extras that were featured in the film and it was all smiles and blankness.  It must be like a mental thing.  I think if I keep going to these film festivals and expose myself to it more and more I’ll probably eventually get used to it.
One of my many goals is to get on the set of a short film or film by a film maker that’s way better then me just to see how they do it.  Even if I’m just standing there with my thumb up my ass starring at everybody, I think it will give me good insight on how everything is supposed to work.

I’ve been seeing a steady increase in traffic on my site.  That’s kind of exciting.  I was thinking about trying to get some interviews with directors, producers, and possibly an actor.  It really is true that sometimes all you have to do is ask.  Worst they can say is “Fuck off cock lick.”  Wow, that’s pretty harsh.  That actually kind of stings.  There it goes, it just passed, see, I’m fine.  In reality, I would probably get some sort of legal jargon back that translated in to “No, you’re stupid, stop bothering me.”  I think if I can handle a rejection letter from a film festival, I can handle a rejection letter from a famous person.
Have you ever been in a situation where you’re in some sort of a contest and everyone around you is winning awards except for you?  And your thinking (or saying) “What the hell is wrong with these people?!  My stuff is way better then this!”  Then something truly crappy wins and you’re completely outraged?  Hate to tell you, but it’s not because everyone else is crazy, it’s because whatever you entered in to the contest sucked.  I am actually totally guilty of this.  I entered a 24 hour film festival a while back that chose not to show my short in the final screening.  Me and the three people involved were totally outraged.  Looking back at it now though, it wasn’t because the judges were biased, or because the other teams cheated, or because I knocked up one of the judges daughters, it was because my short film sucked.  It was shot on a shitty little standard def camera with no boom mic.  It had two actors in it that had never acted before (myself being one of them).  The third actor was good, but really, how good can you be when you have all of that bad working against you?  When I finally owned up to the fact that my short film sucked, I could learn from it.  I could sit back and figure out what I had done wrong.  Which was far more valuable and got me much further in my development as a film maker.  Best advice I can give you is to go out there and fail.  Fail and learn from it.

Last night I went through the first cut of Nice Guys Finish Last and made notes on it for Gabe.  I was up pretty late last night.  I slept right through my alarm this morning, which is pretty amazing.  Considering my alarm plays ultra loud metal off of a CD.  I have to say, I was pretty harsh on the edit.  There’s some stuff that I liked and some that I didn’t.  It is what it is.  If Gabe disagrees with me on something, we’ll talk about it and figure it out. 
It’s been awhile since I’ve uploaded something new hasn’t it?  I would really like to try and put something together soon.  I have a quote book of random quotes from friends of mine.  Sometimes I’ll flip through it for inspiration.  For some reason, it always makes me think of quick shorts.  Maybe I’ll do that tonight.  Actually, the quote book inspired both The Train Wreck and Bad Girlfriend.  Caine’s whole speech in Bad Girlfriend about Chris’s girlfriend was something that a friend of mine actually said to someone.  I’m not joking.  It’s always a lot of fun doing those.  It’s just a small crew that usually films something in one night.  Often times, what we filmed gets edited that same night.  We usually start around 8PM and finish editing around 5AM.  It’s always a good time.  I should do something like that while Gabe is making the edits on Nice Guys Finish Last.  Why not, right?

Is anyone in the market for an older then old Nextel?  Here is a list of the features:
E-Mail: No
Internet: HA HA HA HA HA !
Text Messaging: …..Sort of
Instant Messaging: No
GPS: No
Touch Screen: No
Color Screen: …..Sort of
Buttons: Yes!
Phone: Yes!

You could drop this thing in to a volcano and it would still work.  O yeah, and it might be broken.  It’s not much of a phone, but it is a good conversation piece.  I used to call it the Zach Morris special edition.  That got me laid quite a bit.  Not really, but it could, if you’re good looking.
I’m still in the process of going through what I can part with.  You know it’s getting bad when you’re looking at your refrigerator thinking:
“Really?  How valuable is cold food to my living situation anyway?”
I’ve thought of some other ways to make some money.  I’m thinking about holding a showing for Nice Guys Finish Last when I’m done with it and charging like $10 a ticket.  That seems like a bit much but, I’ve had a lot of friends that have said they would pony up to help me out.  I would also probably show some other short films from some other film makers.  That’s a big maybe though.  I’m not really interested in hosting my own film festival.  So basically, if I know someone and they want to show something, sure, why not?  I’ll be sure to keep you guys updated on the progress of Nice Guys Finish Last and if I decide to have a showing for it.

Last night I went to see Brüno.  I thought Borat was hilarious, so I expected the same from Brüno.  Brüno is one of those movies that sometimes makes you laugh just because you can’t believe what you’re looking at or because you feel so awkward.  I wonder if Sacha Baron Cohen got punched in the face at some point during the filming of this? He really pushes the envelope with this one.  Of course that was expected.  Going in to this movie, I knew I was going to see at least one thing that I couldn’t believe he did.  It’s sort of cheap trick shock humor, but whatever, it made me laugh, so it works.  I’m kind of curious what Sacha Baron Cohen would come up with in terms of writing a script.  He can be very funny in the moment, but most of his comedy works because it’s done with real people who have no idea what’s going on.  I think he’s very funny, so I wonder what kind of a script he would come up with.  As far as Brüno goes, I thought it was funny.  Maybe I’m crazy, but I kind of picked up on a political undertone in the movie.  A person who saw it with me said the same exact thing.  Not all the shock comes from Sacha Baron Cohen.  We all probably knew that there were people out there who were anti gay to a point of absurdness, but actually seeing something like that play out right before your eyes is almost just as shocking as the Brüno character himself. 
This week, I’m going through the always painful process of selling my personal belongings to fund my next short film.  One day, I’m probably going to run out of stuff to sell, but for now, this works.  I’m also going to be watching Gabe’s first cut of Nice Guys Finish Last about a million times.  I’ll try to be ultra critical and in the process will start to doubt the original script, but don’t worry, in the end, it will all work out.
On a side note, did anyone see UFC 100?  That falling punch from Dan Handerson on Michael Bisping had to be the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life.

So, we have a first cut on Nice Guys Finish Last.  It came out pretty good.  It’s 18 minutes long.  Right off the bat, I see a couple things that would shave off like a minute or two.  Either way, I don’t think the festival version will be having any credits in it.  Gabe did a pretty good job on the first cut.  I think there are some other takes that I would like to experiment with.  Apparently Gabe had a tough critic in the room while he was editing last night.  Someone he doesn’t know was saying stuff like “What is this?  Are you guys in high school or something?”  I kind of wish I was there for that.  I say, tear it to shreds, I want to know the people that hate it and why they hate it.  If she could give me 20 specific, valid reasons why it was bad, I would want to hear all of them.  Only way you’re going to get better is if people tell you what you did wrong.  On the plus side, she did say that some stuff was funny.  Gabe said there were scenes where she actually said “OK, that’s funny.”  Anyway, the first cut is a good start.  Apparently I forgot that one of the cameras had a polarizing lense on the front of it.  Some of our outdoor scenes look a little off but that’s ok, we can fix that with some color correction.  I was actually surprised, but Gabe usually stuck with one shot for an entire scene, so it really wasn’t that big of a deal.  It shouldn’t take us too long to correct it.  The colors are fine in doors, it’s just a couple of the outdoor scenes that look a little off.
I wrote a blog yesterday about the book I’m reading, How Not to Make a Short Film.  The author of the book (Roberta Munroe) responded to my blog in a comment.  The Internet, let me tell you.  That’s the second author I’ve had communication with this month.  Sometimes I forget that the little name on the bottom of the book is actually a person. You can check out the comment in my last blog, she had some words of wisdom for aspiring film makers.  It was all good stuff.  I wonder if Kevin Bacon will ever respond to my Bacon Dick blog.  Probably not.  I wonder if he would be pissed?  If I were a celebrity, I would take the Bill Murray approach.  Apparently if someone recognizes him, he does some sort of weird dance followed by a bunch of random acts then says “Nobody will believe you” and then runs off.  I’m sorry, but that is genius.  I want him to adopt me.  I’m 27, but still.
Yesterday, I found an awesome site for royalty free music.  Check it out:
 Inomptech Royalty Free Music
The search feature is great. You can search by musical genre or the mood of the music that you’re looking for.  I was extremely surprised by the amount of quality music that’s on there.

I need money to make my new short film.  Plain and simple.  In the past I’ve resorted to selling my personal belongings.  I sold a couple old cameras, video games, furniture, computers, really whatever I could get my hands on.  I think I can make my new project for roughly $2000.  Things I haven’t tried yet are selling sperm and blood.  I should try to sell some blood, I have O-, which everyone can take.  Obviously, God wanted me to sell blood, so I can make this short film.  I’ll have to look in to that.  I’m not sure how I feel about donating sperm.  I would feel really sorry for the woman who gets that sperm.  It would almost be like playing a really cruel joke on someone.  I think one of me is enough.
I’ve been reading this new book called How Not to Make a Short Film by Roberta Marie Munroe.  She’s done just about everything on a short film and used to be a programmer for Sundance.  Needless to say, her advice is valuable.  She’s already listed a couple things that I’m guilty of.  For one, when submitting your short film to festivals, don’t put your companies logo in the front of it.  Nobody has heard of your company and furthermore, nobody cares what the name of it is.  I’m totally guilty of this.  There are a couple things in the book that I don’t agree with though.  In one section there are different budget brackets.  The first bracket is $11,000.  That’s the first bracket.  They slowly ascend to $75,000.  Basically what that tells me is that according to this book, you can’t make a decent short film for under $11,000.  It lists all of the equipment and crew you need.  I totally and completely disagree with that.  $11,000 for a short film is bloated to me to say the least.  Robert Rodriguez shot El Mariachi for $7000 and most of that budget was spent on the camera.  And that was an 80+ minute long movie.  The example the book uses is a 15 page short film.  And it’s using the time frame of a 2 day weekend shoot.  Maybe I missed something in the interpretation, but that’s what I’m getting out of it.  Later on in the chapter there is an interview with a film maker who made a successfull short film for roughly $4500.  One of the things listed in the $11,000 budget is a continental breakfast for a 35 person crew.  Go to the supermarket, buy some fruit, get some yogurt, granola,  some bread to toast, little orange juice, some bagels, put someone who will work for free on food prep duty, and there’s your continental breakfast.  Better yet, go to Togo’s and order a sand which platter, they’re like $40, I do it all the time.  Also, 35 person crew?!  Are you serious?  That seems bloated to say the least.  I shot Censored with an 8 person crew and I had no clue what I was doing and that seemed bloated and that’s been accepted to festivals.  I shot Nice Guys Finish Last most of the time with a 4 person crew.  I shot Say Something with a 5 person crew and it cost me like $100, if even that.  That was an 8 minute long short film that all of my teachers(who were industry professionals) thought was great.  Maybe I’m just not at the level she’s at yet, but Jesus Christ.  If Robert Rodriguez can make a good movie for $7000, I can make a 15 minute short film for way under $11,000.  I think, anyone can shoot anything they want for free, they just have to know the right people and make the right moves.  Don’t get me wrong, Roberta Marie Munroe is a smart lady and she wrote a great book.  I would recommend How Not To Make a Short Film to anyone.  It’s got some good stuff in it, I just can’t agree with that one point.
On to my next order of business.  Is anyone in the market for blood and/or sperm?  I’m selling.

So, I got an e-mail from the Action on Film Film Festival going over all of the nominations for the various awards they are giving out.  I swear to God, there has got to be like 50 awards.  Each award has 5 nominations.  I have no clue how many short films they are showing, but I guess it’s a lot.  So, I’m looking for Censored on one of these lists and don’t see it.  Not one.  I did feel better though when I realized that it’s mainly like 10 or 15 short films listed 5 times for each award.  I suppose that makes sense when you really think about it.  If a short film is nominated for best picture, I imagine it did a lot of things right, so I suppose it’s not weird to see it listed as a best actress nomination and best cinematography.  It makes sense.  If there was a category for “Best Short Film with a Censorship Bar” I would have nailed that shit.  That must have been a nightmare figuring all of that out.  I’ve come to the realization that Censored isn’t an award winner.  I came to this realization when it played at the LA United Film Festival.  It had a couple parts that got a good laugh out of the audience but I know I can do better then that.  There’s a lot that could have been improved.  The lighting could have been better and I was still trying to figure out the boom mic when I shot it.  So the sound quality isn’t really all that great.  At one point, I thought Censored was brilliant.  I still think the concept is strong, but I probably could have executed it a little better.  O well, on to bigger and better things.  Maybe Nice Guys Finish Last will be an award winning film.  If not Nice Guys Finish Last, then maybe the next one.

So, I’m putting together the credits for Nice Guys Finish Last.  Holy Jesus, there were a lot of people involved in this thing.  The credits are like 45 seconds long.  Normally, my credits are like 10 seconds long, if even that.  I hate to say it, but I may need to cut them out for the festival cut.  I’m not sure if that’s going to be way too long to add to an already pushing it short film.  Getting a 15+ minute long short film in to a festival isn’t going to be easy.  Maybe I’ll send the judges a version without the credits and when I send them my screener, I’ll send them a version with credits.  That’s pretty shady though.  Maybe I just won’t count the credits as part of the film.  Of course, I could be wrong on the time estimation and the short could turn out to be 9 minutes long.  In which case, I wouldn’t mind adding another minute of credits to it.  Or I could be wrong in the opposite direction and it could turn out to be 19 minutes long and I would be screwed.  That actually happened to a guy in my film school.  Our finals were supposed to be around 10 minutes, his was like 22 without credits.  He wrote us an E-Mail 1 night before it was due at like 2AM that said “I’ve cut my short down as much as possible and it’s still 22 minutes long…….Fuck me.”  Film school was awesome, I made some pretty good friends there and produced Say Something while attending.  Which I consider to be a very polished piece.  I think Nice Guys Finish Last may surpass Say Something in the polish and overall wow sector.  Nice Guys Finish Last has some good production value.  We have a lot of different locations and one of them is a restaurant with extras and all.  I’m kind of an idiot to have sat on NGFL for this long.  I could have been submitting it to festivals months ago.  Apparently, that’s what I do now, I shoot short films and just forget about them.  That’s how I role.
You know, I seem to jump back and forth when it comes to genre.  After I shot Red Hood (horror), I shot Say Something (Romantic Comedy).  Then I went back to Red Hood again and now I’m doing Nice Guys Finish Last, which is a comedy, but I would not in a million years call it romantic.  It’s actually kind of the opposite of romantic.  You know what I’m missing?  Some raunchy comedy.  I haven’t done raunchy in awhile, it might be a bit of an overload.  The last time I did raunchy, was The Train Wreck, which was quite awhile ago.  That might be dangerous actually, it’s probably pretty backed up.  It would all come gushing out in a display of hysterical horribleness.

It seems like the hardest thing for me when writing a script is starting.  I don’t know why, it just looks like a very intimidating task.  I think part of it is a fear that I’ll sit there and stare at a blank page for 3 hours with nothing to write.  That hasn’t happened to me once and really it probably wouldn’t be that bad if it did.  So, I should probably just sit down and do it.
I need to do the credits for Nice Guys Finish Last.  That’s something I can work on if the script isn’t working out so well.  I always thought doing credits was kind of fun.  There’s one section that I always have a blast with.  The Special Thanks section.  I can put anything I want in that section.  Once, I listed my cat.  Just because I could.  I always put Gabe’s band Brokedown in there.  Most of the time Gabe plays a pretty big role in the short film so I guess that’s justified.  I’ll put my sister in there sometimes, just for the hell of it.  I have some fun with it.  I usually just list them in some generic font.  I think for Nice Guys Finish Last, I want to do something cool looking though.  I’ll have to see what I can come up with.  Looking at pictures and videos online is actually kind of inspiring.  Ending credits aren’t something you usually think about, but people have done some really cool stuff with it.  I’m finding a lot of stuff on text effects and formatting.  I’m kind of having graphic design school flashbacks.  I had this teacher named Mr. Hanson who was my typography teacher.  That dude was crazy, but his typography was pretty damn amazing.  He used to show us stuff that taggers did like on bridges and walls and stuff.  It was pretty cool.  For NGFL, I think it’s all about finding a logo and a font that matches the context.  We’ll see what I can come up with.