John Q. Phats Entertainment

You always hear about copyrighting here and there, but the thought of actually getting something copyrighted can be a bit intimidating. Of course there is the poor mans copyright of mailing a hard copy of a script to yourself via USPS. Would that really hold up in court though? I don’t know. What I do know is that getting a script copyrighted isn’t that difficult or complicated. Using https://eco.copyright.gov/ you can submit your work and get the review process started in roughly 20 minutes. Go to the site, register for an account and follow the super easy steps. It’s literally that simple and it only costs $35. They even accept PDF’s. I’m not going to go through this step by step. That would be demeaning to both you and me. I know what you’re thinking: “a government service that isn’t insanely tedious and complicated? Impossible.” But, I just completed the application and I’m pretty sure I did everything right. I’ll let you all know when it goes through. I have yet to look in to WGA protection, but there is an option in Final Draft so I can’t imagine it would be that complicated. I’ve read that getting both is essential when shopping a script. I’ll have to give that a shot tomorrow. Look at me, submitting scripts to be copyrighted and protected, shit just got real.

Among the various tools in Final Draft are several reports that can be ran and printed out. Most are rather useful to get a feel for which characters are getting the most attention in the script or where most of the script takes place. One however looks like it was just added purely for my amusement. The profanity report. That’s right, a report not only detailing the occurrences of profanity, but on what page in the script they are on, and which character speaks them. The following is a list of the profanity used in my script and how many occurrences of it there are:
“Ass” (10 occurrences)
“Asshole” (5 occurrences)
“Bitch” (9 occurrences)
“Bullshit” (3 occurrences)
“Cock” (4 occurrences)- All spoken by one character.
“Damn” (12 occurrences)
“Dick” (21 occurrences)
“Fuck” (54 occurrences)
“Fucked” (4 occurrences)
“Fucker” (9 occurrences)
“Fucking” (24 occurrences)
“Piss” (1 occurrences)
“Pissed” (1 occurrences)
“Pussy” (8 occurrences)
“Shit” (29 occurrences)
“Tits” (1 occurrences)

I’m a little disappointed by the low occurrences of “shit” and “Bitch.” However, I am proud of myself for including a “tits.” Plus, I think 54 occurrences of “fuck” is something to be proud of. I mean 54 in a two hour span is one fuck every 2.22 minutes. Go me.

I tried something a bit different tonight. I’ve done a video blog. I’ve often scoffed at video blogs, but holy hell, it’s much harder then it looks. Most of the video the bottom portion of my face is cut off. Actually it was a style choice. That’s a lie. I’m just a shitty camera man and was too cheap and lazy to set up a tripod. I promised content, not good content. So, here it is, my video blog premier.

JQP Entertainment Video Blog- 10/4/2011 #1
Please note that if you want to check the video out tonight, Vimeo may still be converting it.

Wait 20 minutes and check back later. If 20 minutes later it’s still not available, read this line of the blog again.

Recently, I’ve been writing a movie script. That’s actually one of the reasons I haven’t been posting. It was kind of exciting because someone from some big time movie studio got a hold of it and actually read it. Although not that exciting. Allow me to explain. In my experience, leads like this never really pan out. First off, it could be anybody at the studio. It could be the janitor or someone in billing who is in just as good of a position as you are to actually get your movie made. Second of all, big deal, doesn’t mean your script is any good. I’ll read anything you put in front of me if I’m bored enough. Third of all, if they are someone whose capable of doing something with your script, it’s still a thousand to one. You’re an unknown writer with no background. They are either desperate or bored.
Enough of that happiness. They did actually read it and they were someone in a good position. Their words of advice: It’s too long and the funny parts aren’t that funny. Ouch. But not really. They were right. So, I started editing, which turned in to nitpicking to a degree that was unhealthy. I’m not exaggerating, I’ve read this script at least 400 times. So, this is it. I’m done editing it. I sent it off to some friends and told them that this is the furthest I can take it. Any other edits have to come from discussions or pointers from them. I’m not editing this thing any more. It does free me up for a project though. While I have other movie script ideas, I’m going to do a short film. And since I’ve neglected my website so much recently, it will be something for my website.
In closing, lesson learned. Sometimes you just have to walk away from a script. Especially if you’re as OCD as me.

You may have noticed a lack of posting lately. I apologize, but I’ve been working on a movie script. You can understand when the options are work on some new material or bs about old material. I’ve been spending 3+ hours a night working on this script. Lots of late nights and lots of rough days that followed because of those late nights. I do still have a day job that pays the bills. I finished a first draft last week and have been working on nothing but revisions since then. I have read this script at least 50 times. I read it, probably 4-5 times a day. It’s getting to the point where I am tempted skip pages because I have memorized them. So, I’m taking a break tonight and getting a fresh look at it tomorrow. Although, it’s hard not to think about it. Even when I’m not working on it, I’m thinking about what I can change. Give me a minute without any mental stimulation and my mind will wonder to the script. I’m not complaining, it’s actually kind of exciting. My editing sessions are getting shorter and shorter which means I’m getting closer to a final draft. I’ve written movie scripts before, but I’ve never really tinkered with them to the point where I have a final draft that I’m comfortable with.
I think the funniest thing about my edits is that I actually had to have a night where I went through and filtered out about 90% the “fucks” and variations of it. I don’t know what it is, but when I write, I tend to over use the word “fuck” to an insane degree. I’m totally fine with using it in a script but I think it has to have some sort of build up. Like you have to justify using it, instead of throwing it in there randomly as a word filler. I also tend to over use phrases in scenes. I don’t know if my brain just gets stuck on it or what, but there was a scene where I wrote “God job, bud” like 9 times from 5 different characters. I’ll try to write here more often, or maybe I’ll try to get Steven writing. I don’t know, but something is going to happen.

Lately, I’ve been attempting to write a trailer. Which I thought would be easy, but is actually turning out to be really difficult. I can’t help but shake the feeling that I’m working in the wrong direction. I’m so stumped that I’m seriously considering writing a full script and then trying to just pick parts to make up a trailer. I suppose it’s not so bad. I’ve actually written two trailer scripts. They only problem is, they kind of suck.  How do they even make trailers? Are there scripts for them or do they just give a cut of the movie to an editor and tell him to make a trailer? Well, I’m going to find out.
So apparently there is an actual title for it. They are called Trailer Editors. Sounds like something a redneck would do. They spend hours at an editing bay and have access to orchestras and all kinds of other shit that made this project seem that much more difficult. O well, that never stopped me before. Of course some of our methods are questionable. But we get the job done. Here’s 10 awesome examples, because I’m in a list mood.
Example 1:
“Bad news, we forgot the boom pole.”
“…….Hand me that broom stick and get me some duct tape.”
Example 2:
“Crap! I forgot the food. Call Austin, tell him I’ll list him as a producer for a tray of sandwiches.”
Example 3:
“Ha! Who needs a dolly? We found this rolling chair in the alley.”
Example 4:
“OK, for this shot, I’m going to throw you the camera. DO NOT DROP IT.”
Example 5:
“OK, the camera rig that we built is bolted above your bed.”
“Is that safe?”
“I wouldn’t sleep under it.”
Example 6:
“Good catch. You’re now my script supervisor…… Of course you’re still the lead actress, and now you’re my script supervisor too.”
Example 7:
“Can we somehow attach the camera to the car?”
“Not safely.”
“But we can do it, right?”
Example 8:
“Alright everyone, I don’t want to alarm you, but I have an actor who’s going to take his pants off. It’s no big deal, he’s wearing underwear. Just go back to drinking your coffee and we’ll be out of here in no time.”
Example 9:
“I’m thinking I might steal that guys camera. I’m not sure yet, but I’m leaning towards yes. I’m pretty sure I can out run him.”
Example 10:
“What’s your budget?”
“…. I got like 11 bucks.”

One of these is not true. Can you guess which one? God, I can’t tell if this is pathetic or epic that only one of those isn’t true. First person to guess which one isn’t real gets a short script written about them as a super hero which I will post on my website.

I am extremely behind on my entertainment quota for the week. I haven’t watched any movies, seen the new episode of Dexter or really watched or worked on much of anything since my last post. I told myself that I would work on something tonight. But as you can tell from searching the archives, that’s usually a bitter lie. I’m working on a couple of scripts right now and both of them are at sort of exciting stages.
When I last left Red Hood, she was in the tail end of a bloody battle. I always wondered what fight scenes in actual movie scripts looked like. Does the writer describe each punch and kick? Or is there just some sort of text alluding to a fight scene? Or is there something that references another document (maybe a video) that describes the fight scene in detail?
The following is a small passage from a fight scene in Kill Bill:

“INT. HOUSEWIFE’S NICE HOME – DAY
The white woman and the black woman FLY into the center of the living room, CRASHING onto her coffe table in front of the sofa.
These two wildcats go at each other savagely, TUMBLING OVER the couch, clawing and scratching all the way, landing together on the plush carpet.
The HOUSEWIFE
KICKS The Bride, sending her CRASHING backwards into the small table where the phone, a note pad (for messages), and the mail is kept.

The Housewife scrambles up on her feet, but is caught by a

FLYING TACKLE from behind by The Bride that sends them both into……..
An ornamental iron and tempered-glass bookcase that has framed family photos, display toys, some African art, and a collection of painted commemorative plates depicting the negro experience in the American military. Starting with a plate featuring Cripis Atkins in the revolutionary war, negro troops in union blue during the civil war, Buffalo soldiers fighting Indians, the Jim Crow troops of the first world war, the colored troops of world war two, Korea, Vietnam, and finally Colin Powell….The Bride and The Housewife CRASH THROUGH all this reducing everything to rubble.”

I have to admit, the detail in this is kind of intimidating. Tarantino spends more time describing the surroundings then the actual fight itself. It’s sort of a mixture of describing it kick for kick but leaving it very open for interpretation. This is probably the best way of doing this. I’m guessing Tarantino did it this way because he wanted to leave certain aspects of the fight scene open to the imagination of those helping out on the project, maybe a fight coordinator or a stunt person or maybe even the actors. Or perhaps he just didn’t really care that much about certain details and wrote whatever the hell he wanted. He talks about kicks, but doesn’t really go in to much detail about it. What type of kick is it? Where on her body does she get kicked? I suppose these details don’t matter. We know the action and what the result is:

 “The HOUSEWIFE
KICKS The Bride, sending her CRASHING backwards into the small table…”

Perhaps that’s all you need. But I guess every writer has to find their own way of doing things. As I stumble through my Red Hood fight scenes, my only hope is that I can write something that others can read and make sense out of.
All this talk of fight scenes has me thinking about where I left Red Hood. I’ll probably finish writing that scene when I get home.

I had a bad dream about one of the villains in Red Hood last night.  This is a great sign.  I want the villains to be memorable and intimidating.  I got stuck on a bit of dialogue last night.  But that’s ok, I’m sure it will come to me.  Strangely, I’m starting to get ideas for Red Hood 2.  Too soon?  I could write it as one long piece and then just split it in half.  Red Hood has a final destination.  I know where she has to end up, I’ve known for awhile.  Since the beginning, Red Hood’s ending has had sort of an open ending, leaving room for a sequel.  So, it’s kind of like I’m writing one four hour movie.  Red Hood would work just fine without a sequel.  But that’s not what I had in mind.  It was important for me to make it work on it’s own.  One script is hard enough to sell.
I’ve come to realize that I really do enjoy writing.  I’ll make an excuse to write anything.  Like anything though it’s tough to get started.  The only advice I can give to someone having this issue is to stop being a pussy and just do it.  Write something terrible, who cares?  You know how many horrible movies have not only been written, but actually made? 
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls-  Tons of money spent making it and I would say it was kind of a dud. 
Contact- You wait the whole fucking movie to see the god damned alien and then it uses some stupid mind shit to appear as her father.  Then in so many words tells her they’re going to send her back with absolutely no proof what so ever of her encounter for no God damned reason.  I so wanted the main character to pull out a gun and shoot her alien father in the head at the end of that movie. 
Death Bed, The Bed That Eats- Granted, this is one of those movies that’s so bad it comes back around in to awesome.  However the fact that someone actually had to sell this movie to a producer and succeeded is un fucking believable to me.  How the hell did that conversation go?
Writer: So, I got this script, it’s about a bed that eats people.
Producer: ……That’s really funny, seriously, what’s your script about?
If you ever need a quick pick me up head over to the IMDB Bottom 100 list.  Rent some of them, you’ll feel much better about what you write from that point on.  Especially considering these were all movies that were funded, produced, and actually made.  Meanwhile you’re just writing, so who cares if you write something terrible?

So, I did it.  I deleted the three crappy pages that I wrote on Red Hood and replaced it with 1.5 pages of awesome.  It wasn’t so bad and I feel like I can move on from here.  I sort of got stuck at the end of this last scene, but at least I left on a good note.  I’m kind of excited, I get in to the really good stuff soon.  It’s hard for me not to write something funny here and there.  That’s ok to do in a horror. 
Right? 
Right, and you know why, because I said so and it’s my script.  I mean, I’m not writing Schindlers List here, it’s an over the top vigilante flick.  Let the audience have a little fun with it.  Either way, I’m having fun writing it.  It’s great to finally get my idea on paper.
On top of my script updates, I would like to talk about the movie Real Genius.  Apparently, they are doing a remake of it.  At least that’s what it looks like via IMDB and various other internet sources.  In celebration of this, I figured I would discuss the classic 1985 version staring Val Kilmer.  Warning, there will be spoilers.    
Mitch Taylor (Gabriel Jarret) is accepted to an insane program for geniuses, focusing around developing some ultimate bad ass laser.  Mitch is all proper and shirt tucked in and shit.  He is partnered with Chris Knight (Val Kilmer) who’s the type of guy that would show up to a math class in a bathrobe.  When asked to do some crazy math shit, would yawn, scratch himself inappropriately, and then lazily stumble to the board and mathematically prove there was no Jesus while sending a text message.  They didn’t have text messages back then, so I don’t know, he would send a Morris code?  Fuck, who cares, you get the point.  Anyway, hilarity ensues.  Now in the beginning of the movie we’re lead to believe that Mitch is smarter than Chris Knight.  We soon find out that this is total bullshit.  While Chris Knight fucks beauticians, Mitch falls in love with some crazy OCD broad that power sands her floor at 3AM.  In fact Chris pretty much does everything better than Mitch and he’s cooler.
Lets move on to Kent.  Kent is the tool of the film and boy is he ever a tool.  The only thing is, he’s not very threatening.  I’ve never been able to take a grown man with braces seriously.  Why nobody punches him in the face is beyond me.  You can tell just by looking at him, he’s a little bitch.  He wouldn’t do anything, he would just run off crying.  Then when you passed him the halls his bottom lip would quiver and he would avoid eye contact.  At one point they put an antenna in this guys mouth and through a microphone convince him they are Jesus.  Here it is revealed that Kent masturbates.  I could have told you that before that scene.  That guy couldn’t get laid if he were a rug.  Still, hilarious all the same though.  After Mitch and Chris build the ultimate bad ass laser, after Kent fucks up their first one, cause he’s a dick.  The bomb is dropped that the laser is actually being developed as a weapon!  No shit?!  I’m sorry, but I assumed it was a weapon from the beginning of the movie.  What the fuck else are you going to do with a laser that blasts through concrete walls and statues and shit?  You’re going to blow shit up with it.  Mainly people.  As you can imagine Chris and Mitch are pretty pissed about this.  So, they hack the Gibson (kudos if you understand this) and use the laser to pop a bunch of popcorn in the main bad guys house to the point where the house splits in half.  Seriously, that’s what happens.  It’s pretty awesome.  
While I’m curious to see how they remake Real Genius, part of me want’s them to leave it alone.  It’s a great movie as is.  Who knows though, maybe the remake will be even better.  It’s old enough and wasn’t popular enough for enough people to remember it.  So, I doubt they’ll piss off much of a fan base if they screw it up.  And really, I wouldn’t care if they screwed it up.  The 1986 version would still be good.

A lot of people have asked me what’s going on with Red Hood.  Well, I got to page 72 about three days ago, but got there via a shitty scene that I’m more then likely going to delete.  This was very frustrating and still is.  So, rather then correcting the problem I’ve been avoiding the script all together, because I’m regretting having to highlight three and a half pages and hitting the delete key.  It just sucks to leave a script on a bad note.  I should have just not slept that night and rewrote it right then and there.  Rather then just leaving it because I was pissed that I wrote a terrible scene.  I’m curious to know how other writers deal with writing something they aren’t happy with.  They probably have a much better process then me.  Any other writers out there have any tips or advice of what to do when you write a scene or anything that you really aren’t happy with?  Comment below. 

Me and Caine have split up the workflow rather nicely.  I have an extremely specific vision in mind.  Here’s the problem though, I’ve really only envisioned the cool shit.  The kill scenes, the action sequences, the dark monologues, and the ending.  Everything in between?  Total blank.  No clue what is going on or even what I’m doing.  So, I stumble through some of the build up and set up.  Caine on the other hand seems to have a crystal clear vision of all the gaps in my story.  I’m not sure how, but he just seems to get it.  He’s written the stuff that makes me stare at my monitor with a “not so bright” look on my face for twenty minutes at a time.  I think that’s working out quite nicely. 

You could say that writing this is part of getting over the discomfort of the task at hand.  I’ll go home tonight, delete the scene and move on.  Mainly because I’ve now looked at the positive and it really doesn’t seem that bad. 

Other then this minor setback, it’s going fairly well.  I’m not thrilled with every scene, but it just a first draft.  My goal for the month is to have the first draft completed.  I think I can pull this off.    

Photograph taken and edited by awesome Alyssa Tucker.