John Q. Phats Entertainment

I can’t sleep, and I’ve been neglecting the site in favor of my school work (I know, I’m such an asshole like that), so I thought I would play around with an idea I’ve been kicking around inside the old noggin for a film. I decided to write a short piece from the perspective of one of my monsters. It’s not formatted like a script or anything, I just wanted to word-doodle for a bit and maybe see what people think. All twelve of you that actually visit the site.

::Blink::

He sees me. He finally sees me. It was only a flash, but he knew he saw something.

::Blink::

Again. How wonderful this is. For too long have I wanted in, now that he sees me I can never be cast out.

::Blink::

Oh, there is terror in this one. Perhaps I was smiling too widely. They often cannot handle it when I smile. Not that it matters to me, whether it is fear or courage they all taste the same.

::Blink:: ::Blink::

He is unsure, but he refuses to look away. I do so love it when they seek me out. It reminds me of that wonderful idiom I once heard about a cat and his curiosity.

::Closed::

Ah! I can touch him now.

::Blink::

He was in my world for a moment. I left my mark on him. I shall leave him for now. Sleep will bring him back to me. I have waited this long after all. A few more hours and he shall never awake again.

So. I’m gonna be contributing from time to time now to Carl’s site. I’m hoping to make this a weekly thing for now and maybe it’ll become more frequent as I get more time in my schedule.

For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Steven. I’ve been a professional Steven for 29 years now and I’m not planning on retiring from the postition any time soon. I’m going to school to get my BA in Creative Writing, so you can expect a lot of droll uncreative things from me. Shirking the norm, I refuse to sit at Starbucks, or any other coffee shop, and pretend to write a novel. Sitting at home and pretending to write one has worked for the past 16 years since I started writing and who am I to break tradition now?

I suppose you can expect the occational work of short fiction, and maybe with the permission of the parties involved some non-fiction too. Also, as long as Carl allows, I want to start a series I’m calling” Racist Conversations I’ve Had With John.”  I wont say which John, but everyone in our circle already knows exactly who I’m talking about. Hopefully they will entertain you as much as they have entertained us. And to make sure we are all on the same page, neither John nor I are racists, we just like to say shocking things to try to catch the other off guard and more often than not it only serves to make us laugh. Example, on the way to a restaurant a few weeks ago he complained that slurs no longer had the class they used to, “Take dago wop, that had some pizazz to it. It rolls off the tongue and maligns a few ethnicities at once. Efficient, and timeless.” We all laughed and then got drunk and said some more incredibly racist and incredibly hilarious things, but the alcohol induced fugue is keeping them from me at present.

In closing, I’m awesome and you’ll like what I do here. Remember, I’m a professional Steven.

****Disclaimer: Do not attempt to be a Steven under any circumstances as it could become hazardous to your well being and the well being of those around you. The Steven you have just encountered has trained his whole life to engage you in the appropriate manner. Neither Steven nor JQP Entertainment can be held liable in the event that you cause egregious harm to your reputation while trying to replicate the hilarity you have found here.

Machete comes out this weekend. It’s good to see that the Tarantino’s and Rodriguez’s have found a pretty legitimate market for their “over the top” brand of action flicks. Inglorious Bastards was amazing, plain and simple. I was thrilled to see it included in the Academy Awards for a best picture nomination. Even if there were like twenty nominations that year it’s still nice to see that this type of film has a pretty respected place in Hollywood. For those of you that don’t remember, Machete started out as a fake trailer at the beginning of Grindhouse. Watching it, I laughed, but I also leaned over to my friend and said
“That looks like a bad ass movie.”
I’m still kind of shocked that something that borders on ridicules holds its own so well. I along with just about everyone that I know is excited about this movie. You’re not supposed to take it seriously, nobody is. Who could take a man strapping a machine gun to the front of a motorcycle and jumping through the air firing it like a mad man seriously?  But that’s the fun of it. It doesn’t have to be, it just has to be cool. Motorcycles are cool and machine guns are cool. So, you combine the two and get something fucking awesome. To top it off, you arm an absolute bad ass of epic proportions with a billion machetes and set him loose on a bunch of bad guys. I’m willing to bet that at least three limbs get chopped off and probably a head or two.    
Movies like Machete and Grindhouse are a reminder that Red hood has a place in this world.  Red Hood isn’t realistic and at times it’s pretty ridicules.
I probably won’t get much writing done this weekend as I don’t have access to a computer that has Final Draft on it. It will give me a chance to think about what I’m going to write next and a chance to reflect what I’ve written so far.
I’m probably going to check out Machete either tonight or tomorrow.  I’ll let you guys know how it is. My prediction:
“Fucking awesome.”

Often how I write is a little out of order.  Let’s say for example that I’m writing a 100 page movie.  Often times, I’ll get to page 65, and then write something that corresponds with something that happened on page 25 that I haven’t written yet.  So, I go back to page 25 and fill in the gap.  I started doing that last night and realized how ass backwards that is.  As unnatural as it seems, it’s the workflow that seems the most natural.  I’m actually very excited about writing that scene tonight.  I’ve built up a great moment of tension.  My only problem is that I sort of like having these intense moments with no real payoff at the end of the scene.  Nothing really cheesy like a cat jumping out of a trash can or some shit like that.  I’ll give you an example.  There’s a scene when Red Hood has just started becoming a vigilante.  She’s walking through the park when she sees one of the main villains in the movie sitting on a park bench staring intently at a little girl.  Red Hood freezes and isn’t really sure what to do.  I draw it out for a bit of an awkward stare and then the villain just gets up and walks off.  That’s it.  Shit, looking it now, it seems pretty lame.  O well, it’s a first draft.  I guess the payoff is that later on in the movie the two have a big confrontation.  I won’t give it away, but it’s kind of awesome. 
I’m having mixed feelings about what I’ve written so far.  Some scenes I think are amazing and others are beyond horrible.  I’m just going to power through this 1^st draft and hope I can fix the parts I don’t like later.  My page count should pass 80 by the end of tonight.  I can’t confirm this, but I think this is the furthest I’ve gotten on the Red Hood script.  I’m aiming for 120 pages.  So, I’m getting there.  I may send it off to festivals or I may send it off to producers.  There’s a good possibility I’ll do both.  I haven’t really decided what to do with it yet.  I know that I still have a lot of work to do.

This is something that kind of bugs me.  The final episode of True Blood won’t air this weekend because Monday is a holiday.  What the fuck is that shit?  Like the episode has a right to a three day weekend because it works so hard?  I don’t even understand that.  This is not the first time they’ve pulled this shit either.  They did it earlier this season and I was absolutely shocked when I checked my DVR and it wasn’t there.  Here I was thinking “I get a three day weekend and a new episode of True Blood?  This is going to be awesome.”  I’m not sure what airing an episode entails, but I picture it as someone hitting a giant, basketball sized, glowing play button.  It’s probably much more complicated then that, but still, screw this holiday shit.  Jesus HBO, you may as well let the terrorists win.

P.S. Someone recommended that I boycott the final episode.  Obviously, they are fucking stupid.  That show is amazing and I’m sure the wait will be well worth it.

I thought the showing went pretty good.  Everyone seemed to be enjoying it and people laughed at all the right parts.  I’ll post pictures tomorrow and go in to detail and all that.

I’m showing Do Nice Guys Finish Last tonight at the Art Theater of Long Beach for free. If you want to check it come on down. The show starts at 8PM.

…just a little late, but never the less… Caine.

Mr. JQP himself has opened up the forum for me to ramble off on whatever comes to mind. Humbly accepted of course. Then I wondered what to write about. I realized that often when I write, I skip around from thought to thought and idea to idea until the start and end are unrecognizable to each other. Sort of like all the parts of an engine each working faster individually than as a whole. I call it a Cainestorm. Usually it happens when I have too much to say. I do the same thing when I’m telling a story. I want to fit in all the little details and side notes so i end up bouncing all over the place. Hard to keep peoples attention with that sort of format. I’m sure everyone knows someone like that. I’m that guy… Until the next

Movie to see: I’m a Cyborg But That’s Ok

So, either we have just 2 years left before the planet destroys itself or like the Y2K hoax nothing is going to happen and life will go on.  Either way, there’s nothing I can do about either of those so it’s time to have some fun and get down to business.  Unless of course John Cusack picks me up in a limo.  Then we can outrun earthquakes and lava.  That scene was absolutely ridicules and I loved every God damned second of it.  Just turn off your brain for movies like that, you’ll love them.  I liked that movie as a mindless action flick.  I got exactly what I expected.
With Do Nice Guys Finish Last all set and making its attempt at a festival run, I’m ready for my next project.  I plan to start 2010 right.  My resolution was to write a script whenever I get an idea.  I had way too many ideas last year that I’ve now forgotten because I never wrote them.  Sometimes they are entire long short films, other times they are just quick scenes.  I actually do really enjoy writing, but the hardest part is getting started.  So, no matter how bad or small the idea is, I am going to stop what I’m doing and write a script for it immediately.  We’ll see how that goes as I seem to get groups of ideas.  Hopefully I can keep up with myself.
Ellen Sandler is doing a seminar on January 23^rd in Los Angeles at The Writers Store.  I’m seriously considering going.  I really like her book.  Only thing holding me back is that it’s $150.  I could be spending that cash on my next short film.  Who knows though, this class might push me in another direction entirely.  For $150 I suppose I could find out.  I’ll keep you guys updated.  It could be a fun Saturday. 

Happy 2010 everyone.  Hopefully you all have a good year.

So, we are still waiting on the judging for Do Nice Guys Finish Last.  Again, we gave 2 versions of the short film to 5 people and told them to pick which one they liked best.  We are still waiting on their final word.  Maybe we will have it by the end of today.  Then, we will be done and I will send it off to film festivals.  It’s nerve racking having other people look at your short film for the first time.  O well, that’s why we make them, right?
I’m reading A TV Writers Workbook by Ellen Sandler still.  This book is unbelievable.  I’m loving it so far.  It really does put writing in to a process that’s not so daunting and intimidating.  Plus she’s a writer at heart, so she knows how to put an entertaining twist on everything she says.  I remember a long time ago, I read a book on short film making.  I forgot what it was called or who wrote it.  It had loads of great information in it, but my God was it boring to read.  It was like reading VCR instructions.  I’m actually kind of excited whenever I read A TV Writers Workbook.  I want to know what she has to say.  I’m taking my time with it and actually doing the exercises in the book as I go.  Sometimes I read chapters over again, just to put the information to memory.  Even if you don’t want to get involved in writing for TV, I would recommend it.  It’s a great writers guide and the techniques can be applied anywhere.
Now on to a random fact that I discovered last night.  I’m really trying to get my girlfriend addicted to Dexter.  So, I’ve started watching season 1 with her.  My girlfriend loves True Blood.  She can’t get enough of it.  We’ve stayed up till like midnight watching episode after episode of True Blood.  Which for me is early, but for her is insanely late.  Anyway, we are watching Dexter and she says “Hey, that guys is on True Blood.  He plays Sam Merlotte.”  Low and behold there he was, Sam Trammell, the actor who plays Sam Merlotte.  He was on the second show of the first season and he was one of Dexter’s victims.  He was an alcoholic that would go from city to city drinking and driving.  Every single time he would get too drunk and hit someone he would just pack up and move to another city.  So, if anyone ever asks you “what True Blood character had an appearance on Dexter in the first season?”  You can say Sam Trammell.  Not that anyone will ever ask you that.  I suppose calling it a useless fact was quite justified.

Here’s what we did for Do Nice Guys Finish Last.  I did a version with transitions and Gabe did a version with transitions.  We are then going to let 3 people watch them both and give us their opinion.  Why?  We both had very different ideas of how the transitions should look.  This isn’t really about who’s right and who’s wrong, it’s about what works better.  Were we tempted to just say screw it and pick one?  Yes.  But we both decided that we are so close to the end that it would be stupid to just blindly pick one.  We’ve spent a lot of time and energy making this look how we want it to.  Why should we half ass it at the end?  Once this is done, we are done.  I’m going to start sending it out.  I’m kind of nervous and excited all at the same time. 
Anyone catch last nights episode of Dexter?  How is it possible that a show gets better and better with each season?  I don’t think I’ve ever had a show hold my absolute attention as long as this one.  I mean, I’ve been watching The Simpsons since I was like 9.  But I don’t think I’ve ever been anticipating a new season of that show at all really.  It’s The Simpsons, if it’s on, you watch it.  If it’s an episode you haven’t seen already, cool.  I’m trying to get my girlfriend in to Dexter, but it’s not really working out so well.  I watched the first episode of the show yesterday with her and she said she didn’t know how she felt about it.  She said she was kind of disturbed.  It’s kind of a disturbing show.  But that’s why I like it.  She’s the first person I’ve met that hasn’t been instantly addicted to this show.  We’ve got like a small cult following of the show at work and we all talk about it.  I realized something about the first season that I didn’t really notice before.  The cinematography in that show took a lot more risks then season 2, 3, and so far 4.  It just seemed to get a lot more standard after season 1.  Season 1 used close ups, weird angles, and really dark lighting.  I wonder if it’s success caused that?  I just wonder what changed.  The first episode was especially thought out.  The first time you see him kill someone and he’s questioning the victim, they hid his face in the dark.  The rest of him is visible, but his face is hidden.  I think it’s because they wanted to show that side of him as sort of something to fear.  Like a monster without a face.  We always fear something that we can’t see.  They also seemed to go with a dark lighting scheme whenever the scene revolved around him either planning or on his way to kill someone.  I thought it was a nice choice.  The show is still lit darkly at times, but I felt it was much more edgy in the first season.  I like the show either way.
I saw Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs yesterday.  I was interested in that new technology that they used for it.  They hooked a camera up in a room with sensors in it.  When the camera man looked through the lens he saw what was in the 3d animated world.  They could then play scenes or sequences from the movie and have an actual camera man capture it.  They could record all of the camera mans movements and incorporate that in to the scene.  I thought it was awesome that they could do that and a good idea.  That movie was great.  What makes a great kids movie is a movie that parents can take their kids to that the parents can enjoy too.  You know once the kid gets that movie on DVD, he/she is going to watch it at least a million times.  It has to be enjoyable to both the kids watching it and the parents.  I think Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs can be for everyone.  I thought it was really entertaining, I liked it.  It was an great story and some of the visuals were amazing.
I’ll keep you guys updated on Do Nice Guys Finish Last.