John Q. Phats Entertainment

Do Nice Guys Finish Last is a mockumentary.  We really wanted it to have that documentary feel.  Thus why there is no tripod in any of these shots.  I usually hate it when short films don’t use a tripod, but in this case, I think it calls for it.  These are some out takes from a scene we had to re shoot.  We had so much fun on this shoot.  We all have a laugh when someone messes up.  There’s also just some messing around.  When we have the shots we want sometimes I’ll just tell the actors to do whatever and have a good time.  This is the result.

Ever since I figured out that you can make two shots look like one, I’ve had sort of a hard on about the idea.  This short actually consists of 4 shots total.  This is just something we thought up on the spot.  I like stories that don’t really have an explanation because they don’t need one.  This is the shoot where God damn Chris moved the beer and made us shoot the entire thing all over again.  Bastard.  It actually wasn’t that bad.  Everyone knew what to do at this point, so all the shots went extremely fast.  We shot a little extra where Caine is screaming at Chris about moving the beer while doing an impression of Christian Bale yelling at that DP on the set of the new Terminator flick.  I might post that a little bit later.

This is an introduction that we shot for the web page.  I know, it’s very late.  This is actually the beginning of some tests that we did with split screen stuff.  All it is, is two shots made to look like one.  Me, Chris, & Caine have been getting together once maybe two times a week recently just to shoot something.  Even if we don’t have a clue what we are going to shoot.  It’s been fun so far.  This is something that we thought up right on the spot.  It gets a pretty good laugh.  Enjoy.

Say Something was a final I did for New York film academy. All of our projects weren’t allowed to use dialogue. Somehow we got the impression that our final was supposed to have dialogue. I wrote a funny script about a couple arguing that had some big laughs in it. It was totally raw. It was filthier than shit but it had a happy ending. I was really happy with it. About 2 weeks before shooting, one of our teachers dropped the bomb, that are final would not be allowed to have dialogue. So, rather then write a new script, I started thinking about other ways the characters could communicate. One day while in my car driving to school, I realized that a song can have a very personal and specific message in it. It just depends on when it’s presented to you and how it’s presented. That’s when I decided to make the couple communicate through music. Because they had grown so distant they just didn’t know what to say anymore. Writting Say Something was challenging to say the least. I used a modified version of the first script I wrote when I thought we could use dialogue. Then I just picked music based on that. It took me roughly 2 weeks to edit it. I think what I ended up with was my most polished and clever short film to date. The original one with dialogue is still there. Thanks to the limitation that had been set for the project though, it’s better by far then the original script.

The Train Wreck was a blast to shoot. We shot it in one night and we had a good time shooting it. That part in the end with Caine, that was actually a dare by the actress. Being forced to fake masturbation and orgasm isn’t easy, especially for a first time actress. As gross as it is, I can’t help but laugh harder every single time I see it. I’m tempted to write a short film now that revolves around Caine masturbating. Which I really don’t want to do…. But I may have to. The Train Wreck is mainly improved. It was funner that way. Besides, Caine and Chris are funny bastards. Plus we have like a 3 hour long out take reel. If I could have crammed more masturbation and vagina jokes in to that segment, I would have. The money shot was just someone throwing a bucket of water on the actors. Fanny part is, the first take, it only hit Chris. I shit you not, Caine didn’t get a drop of water on him. I’m not even sure how that is possible. But it happened. This holds the title for most raunchy. I don’t think anything I make will take that crown away from it.

Censored was sort of a nightmare.  This is actually the second time we’ve shot it.  The first time, everything that could have gone wrong, did go wrong.  The camera that we rented broke because the heads were dirty.  The boom mic didn’t work even though we had tested it just the night before and it was working fine.  The person supposed to get the food dropped the ball and didn’t.  He was also supposed to buy drinks which he didn’t.  One of the actors was late.  I lost my story boards (which always happens.)  We figured out quick fixes to all this stuff but I felt like Censored was such a good concept that it kind of got ripped off.  So I shot it again.  The second shoot went fine but editing was rough.  I sent it off to several film festival.  It got in to 4 of them.  I think it’s a solid short film.  It’s funny, it’s too the point, and it has a good punch line.  It doesn’t really have an explanation, but it doesn’t really need one.  Kristen isn’t topless, she wearing a bright rainbow tube top.  When I asked her “Why the hell do you even have that?”  Her response was “For just such an occasion.”

Not Walter was shot on the same day Bad Girlfriend was shot. We had a lot of fun on this shoot. I told Emily the part and she liked it. She usually dresses conservatively, when she showed up looking like that I did a double take. I even said “Jesus Emily!” Her response was “What?! That was kind of the point, right?!” Which is absolutely true. Wardrobe played a huge factor in this one and it was something I overlooked. Caine has a really wide range when acting and he played this one kind of mellowed out. I told him to do that, which might have been a mistake, but I thought that it would make the punchline stand out more. Here you have a mellow, rational, individual trying to explain his side of the story. Then, Emily comes in to play and you get the volitile reaction from him. I just thought it would make it more shocking. People who have seen this, quote the punchline all the time. So, mission accomplished….I think. I really like Not Walter as a short film. I think it’s to the point and funny. There’s actually a whole bunch of dialogue between Chris and Caine after Emily walks out of the room, but I cut it out in editing and I think it helped a lot. Without furthur explanation of the situation, it makes that punchline even more over the top.

Bad Girlfriend is based off of something a friend of mine actually said to me once. Which is shocking to a lot of people. Caine’s big speech in this one is based off of a real life thing someone said to me about a friends ex girlfriend. I kid you not. I can’t write shit that good. I was very surprised with Bad Girlfriend and how good of a reaction I get out of it. People just sit there shocked and then say “Wow! What a dick!” Which is exactly what I wanted. I wanted that akward laughter of “that is so mean that I have to laugh to cover up how outraged I am.” This was me sort of experimenting with creating a villian.