John Q. Phats Entertainment

So, apparently I can see in to the future.  In my last post I talked about how great it would be to get in to the SoCal Film Festival.  Later that day, I got an acceptance E-Mail from the SoCal Film Festival.  I have freak luck like that sometimes.  Before shooting Nice Guys Finish Last, I needed a light kit.  The kit I wanted cost about $900.  As sort of a joke to my room mate I said
“I’m going to make $1100 today.”  
before I left the house.  So, I’m walking to the bank.  I decided to walk, for some reason.  I forget why.  I think because parking in my complex sucks and I already had a good spot.  So, I’m going to cross the street and the little blinky guy tells me it’s time to walk.  So I step in to the street and BAM it hits me!  Not an idea of how I’m going to make $1100, but a truck making a right turn.  I wasn’t really hurt, I was just shocked.  I was walking and then all of a sudden I was on the ground.  It sort of knocked me back and I fell back on to the sidewalk.  As I’m getting up, a guy is getting out of the truck with an “O shit” look on his face.  He comes running over to me and says
“O my God!  I’m sorry!  I’m Sorry!  I’m sorry!  Are you ok?!  O fuck!  I didn’t see you!  I’m so sorry!”
The guy was like physically shaking.  So I stand up and I’m a little confused.  I’m thinking to myself “What the hell just happened?  Who the hell is this guy?  What’s going on?” Finally, I put two and two together and realize what happened.  I tell the guy I’m ok and he’s still freaking out.  He looks back at his truck and back at me and says
“I’m so sorry!  You’re not going to call the cops are you?!  I can’t deal with the cops, my license is suspended because of a DUI!  Please don’t call the cops!”
I’m still a bit dazed, so I’m just kind of standing there confused.  Then he says
“Look, I get these settlement checks every month from a job injury I got 3 months ago.  I’ll sign the settlement check and give it to you.  Then we can both just walk away.  OK, sound good?”
Before I could say anything he was handing me the check and shaking my hand.  In all honesty, I probably wouldn’t have taken it if he had let me speak.  I had no injuries, it was a mistake, no big deal.  I checked later and there was literally, not a scratch on me.
I look down at the check as he drives off and it’s for $2253.43.  I figured somehow, the universe conspired to help me, so I donated $1153.43 to my sister for my niece, for a college fund or something. 
Weird, huh?  That’s sort of how I felt about The SoCal Film Festival post yesterday.  Maybe I should try that more often.
Man!  It sure would be great if Kevin Smith, David Fincher, Peter Jackson, Sam Rami, Quentin Tarantino, Robert Rodriguez,  or Guillermo del Toro E-Mailed me and offered me a sweet ass paid internship!  Or if I got invied to help out on Dexter, my favorite show of all time!  You know what, I would settle for an E-Mail interview with Michael C. Hall or really anyone on that cast.
I think part of my success with film festivals has to do with how easy I make it for them.  First of all Censored is 3:30 seconds long.  I note that on the DVD I send out, along with the title, my name, what region DVD it is, what film festival it’s for, and the tracking number they give me when I pay online.  I also put another sticker on the back of the case with the title, my name, my phone number, and the tracking number again.  And I use very stylish Simpons stamps.  My goal is for them to take one look at the DVD and not have to do anything extra.  I want them to open the envelope, take one look at it, pop it in to the DVD player, and go.  No looking up information and no wondering what the DVD is, who made it, and why they have to watch it.  No extra steps.  Festivals can sometimes get thousands of DVD’s, why would you make it any more difficult for them?  You’re only asking for a rejection letter if you do. 
Wow, I went way off course.  I originally started this post to talk about the SoCal Film Festival.  I just mailed my screener copy to them.  According to my records, the festival takes place from 9/14/2009 – 9/23/2009.  I haven’t gotten the exact schedule or location yet, but I will be sure to let you guys know when I do.  I have a lot of friends in this area who couldn’t make it to the LA shows.  Which is totally understandable.  I’m one of the few insane OCers that thinks that LA “Isn’t that far.”  It will be nice to be so close to a festival for a change.  I’m really looking forward to it.
Here is the link to the festivals website and I hope some of you can make it:
SoCal Film Festival 

So, I’m in the home stretch of Nice Guys Finish Last.  We shot some good stuff last night.  I’m starting to get the feeling that a lot of actors and actresses tone things down a bit too low.  Whenever I’ve told actors to go a bit over the top, I get some really good stuff out of it.  Of course, I could just be lucky.  I think I have a pretty good system worked out.  I try to do everything by the script exactly.  When I feel like the actor is comfortable with the dialogue, I make slight adjustments in tone here and there.  Then, if I feel like I need to, I make adjustments in the dialogue.  When I feel like I have what I want, I tell the actor for the last take to go crazy and to do whatever they want.  It’s worked for me so far.
My next project is going to be pretty big and I’m going to need to shoot it in HD.  Does anyone want to let me borrow $5000 for an HD camera?  By “let me borrow” I mean, “let me steal.”  Because, I probably wont be paying you back.  I think it’s a sound investment though.  If I ever get famous you can tell everyone
“Fuck that guy, he stole $5000 from me!” 
Think about it.  If I become the next David Fincher, it would be the same as if someone told you today that David Fincher stole $5000 from them.  It’s a conversation starter.
“Hi, how’s it going?  Did you know that David Fincher stole $5000 from me once?”
I think $5000 for a conversation starter is pretty cheap.  Even if I don’t become famous, you could say something like
“Some asshole who thought he was going to be the next David Fincher stole $5000 from me.  What an asshole that guy was.  Stupid asshole.”
Anyway, give me money. 
In other news, the spammers hit me pretty hard last night.  14 comments in one night.  That’s a new record.  So, if anyone wants cheap Viagra or V1agra, whichever you prefer, I got the hook ups.