John Q. Phats Entertainment

Last night, I went to the SAG building in LA to watch Strictly Background.  It’s a documentary on extras.  I didn’t know this before, but people make a living by just working as extras.  This movie is about 10 extras trying to get by.  First off it was an unbelievable documentary.  I really enjoyed it.  I don’t think I’ll ever look at extras the same again.  I suppose you lose sight of it sometimes, but those people in the background moving around are actually people.  The documentary was kind of a jolt of a reminder of that.  I was just surprised that this sort of thing was a full time job.  I had no idea.  Some people are in it just because they love to be extras, others are in it because they want to be actors and they want something more out of it.  It was all really entertaining, funny at times, and emotional at others.  Afterwards there was a QA with the cast and crew. 
I thought that was awesome, aside from the mouthy bitch in the audience that would not shut the hell up and kept asking bullshit questions that nobody else cared about.  There always has to be one, doesn’t there?  After her third question I thought about smacking her in the back of the head with a chair or something.  Anything to shut her the hell up.  At one point she tried arguing with a casting director about how to make it in the industry.  Uhmmmmm, what?  He’s a been a casting director for 10+ years and you’re some mouthy bitch who can’t even get extra work.  Who do you think is going to win that battle?  That would be like me and Neil Armstrong sitting in a space ship and me looking over at him and saying
“No offense Neil.  But you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.” 
Anyway, you can Netflix it or buy it on DVD.  I would high recommend it, it’s an awesome documentary.  It’s very well done.  I actually took a friend with me that usually hates Documentaries and he even said it was really good.  It’s won 6 best documentary awards at various festivals.  Seriously, there’s no reason not to check it out.  You can check out the web site here.  There’s a link there to buy it on DVD.  For those aspiring film makers out there, it’s a good side view of the industry. 
After the viewing they let everyone mingle with the cast and crew.  For some reason, if I see someone on screen, no matter how big or small the movie or short film is, I am insanely nerveous when I meet that person.  My mind goes blank and all I can do is smile and tell them how awesome I thought they were.  They all probably thought I was on prozac or something.  I met the director and producer, I was fine.  Told him it was an awesome documentary, we talked a bit.  I met the extras that were featured in the film and it was all smiles and blankness.  It must be like a mental thing.  I think if I keep going to these film festivals and expose myself to it more and more I’ll probably eventually get used to it.
One of my many goals is to get on the set of a short film or film by a film maker that’s way better then me just to see how they do it.  Even if I’m just standing there with my thumb up my ass starring at everybody, I think it will give me good insight on how everything is supposed to work.

I just got done watching Heckler.  It’s a documentary starring Jamie Kennedy about hecklers and movie critics.  It talks a lot about how critics have started to make their reviews more of personal attacks on the people involved in making the movie rather then an actual review of the film itself.  It was a pretty good documentary.  I thought it brought up some good points.  A lot of the times, critics do write reviews of shear hatred for the film makers and actors just because they are trying to be funny.  It’s funny at the expense of others though.  While they are pretty harsh, I have to say, for the amount of money that actors get paid, you could say what ever the fuck you want about me.  You could say I should die or get cancer, or that I’m gay.  For that much money not only could you say I’m gay, but I would go in the back and prove it to you.  Anyway, I understand that it’s all relative.  Just because I think a movie sucks, doesn’t mean other people should share my same opinion.  Other people might enjoy it and I’m totally fine with that.  I don’t think you’re an idiot if you liked something that I didn’t.  In fact some people think I’m crazy because I actually really do enjoy bad movies.  If I enjoy them, they’ve served their purpose for me.  A movie is made to entertain and that’s what these have done for me.  So, here’s a list of bad movies that I have enjoyed:

Norbit- I can’t explain it but I laugh harder every time I watch this movie.  I’ve seen it on the movie channels like 30 times.  It’s Eddie Murphy for Christs sake, he’s funny as hell.  If laughing at a fat, stereotyped black woman is wrong, I don’t want to be right.  Me and a guy at work every once in awhile will say “You wanna see a bitch go down a slide?!  I’ll show you how a bitch go down a slide!”
House of the Dead- While Uwe Boll can be an asshole sometimes, I’ve recently come to realize that I have to respect the guy.  He’s probably the most hated director/film maker ever.  Type his name in to google and you’ll come up with endless pages all filled with hatred.  His movies have lost a total of 93 million dollars.  I think everything he’s made has been on the IMDB bottom 100 list at some point.  People have started a petition to try and get him to stop making movies.  But still, he plugs on and keeps coming out with stuff.  This man must have balls made of kryptonite that are coated with adamantium (O yes, I went there).  I have to respect his willingness and determination to go on.  The guy likes making movies, so that’s what he does.  Good for him.  House of the Dead is the first Uwe Boll movie that I saw.  Flipping through the channels one night I saw “House of the Dead” and thought to myself “They made a movie off of that game?  Jesus Christ, the game wasn’t even that good.”    Yes, the movie is based off of the popular arcade game.  The next hour and a half of my life was spent wiping the tears of laughter from my eyes and saying “what the fuck?” whenever I could catch my breath as I watched it.  The next month of my life I probably watched it 20 or so times, because I kept having to show it to friends.  Every time I watched it, it just kept getting funnier.  I want to buy it on BluRay, just to brag that I have it.
Over The Top- Sylvester Stallone is a truck driver that enters an arm wrestling tournament to win a truck.  I’m serious.
Death Bed, The Bed That Eats- I think the title says it all.  It’s about a bed that eats….  People mostly.  I first heard about this movie while listening to one of Patton Oswalt’s stand up acts.  When I heard the title, I thought to myself “There’s no way in hell that’s a real movie.”  It is and it will change your life.
Zombie Nation- I’m still trying to figure out why there is a giant, oversized, gong in the police station.  Do the cops bang on it when ever they book someone?  What the fuck?  This movie is written and directed by a guy named Ulli Lommel.  If you can make it through 3 of his movies straight without laughing or vomiting I’ll give you a dollar.
Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter- The thing that makes this movie so awesome is that it knows that it’s absolutely absurd.  It makes fun of itself and it works.  I was extremely entertained while watching this movie.  It’s exactly what it sounds like.  Jesus Christ comes back to fight vampires.  He has an assistant who’s a big fat Mexican wrestler (mask and all) named El Santos.  Again, I’m serious.
Subliminal Seduction- You remember Ian Ziering?  From 90210?  Good.  You know what a soft core porno is?
Death to Smoochy- I don’t care what anyone says, this movie is fucking genius.  A lot of people probably wouldn’t agree with this being labeled a “bad” movie, but I’ve heard a lot of people shit on it.  I think it’s a great flick.  I laugh my ass off when ever Robin Williams is on screen and I thought Edward Norton pulled it off.
Snakes on a Plane- This one is pretty obvious.  I really only mentioned it because the web site for this movie was amazing.  You could put in your friends names and numbers and a recording of Samuel L. Jackson would call them and tell them they need to see the movie.  I think it’s boarder line illegal, but whatever.  I spent like 3 hours on the site putting all of my friends numbers in to it.  Then I would giggle like a school girl at the thought of Samuel L. Jackson calling them. 
Blankman- When Damon Wayans screams like that I get a little turned on.
Senseless- I’m starting a Wayans brothers theme here.  Marlon Wayans is hysterical in this movie.  Plus Rip Torn is in this movie and he’s the epitome of awesome.
Freddy Got Fingered- Again, Rip Torn.  He can do no wrong.  He’s acted in over 170 movies and I’m sure they are all amazing solely because of him.  I still crack up laughing when Tom Greene cracks that chick in the wheel chair in the face with the stick.
Killer Clowns From Outer Space- Of course aliens look like clowns.  Why wouldn’t they?
Bad Taste- Peter Jackson did some pretty crazy movies before Lord of the Rings.  Bad Taste is one of them.  At one point a bunch of aliens throw up in to a bowl and make some guy eat it.  They really should have put a scene like that in Lord of the Rings.
Braindead- Another Peter Jackson movie.  The lead character at one point makes probably the greatest decision in movie making history.  He decides that he is going to kill zombies…..  with a lawn mower.  He starts the lawn mower, picks it up, runs around, and grinds zombies in to hamburger meat.  I actually yelled out “now that’s awesome!” when I saw that scene.  How in the hell did nobody think of this concept before this movie?  God bless you Peter Jackson.
The Cable Guy- Actually refferenced in The Simpsons as “That awful script that almost ruined Jim Carey’s career.”  I thought it was funny though.

I could go on and on, but I’m going to stop here.  Regardless of the label of “bad movie” I’ve enjoyed all of these.  How good a movie is, is all relative to the viewer.  Personal attacks on the film maker and actors involved is vicious for the sake of trying to be funny.  It’s not necessary.  This is something that a lot of people have spent a lot of time and money on, I can understand them taking these attacks personally.  On the same note though, film makers and actors can’t take reviews so personally.  I make ultra low budget short films, I’ve been told that they suck before.  I’ll probably make several more that people will tell me suck in the future.  But who cares?  I made them and regardless of how many people hate them, I’m proud of them and if you don’t like it, don’t watch it.  The other side of that?  If I couldn’t take that criticism, I wouldn’t make them and post them for the public to see.