John Q. Phats Entertainment

I’m not exactly sure what this means, but you read it right.  Censored is now playing at the San Francisco United Film Festival.  I think that’s a good thing.  I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to make it to the showing or not.  I don’t want to go if shooting for Nice Guys Finished Last isn’t all done.  The showing is going to be sometime in mid June.  I should be able to pull it together by then.
The restaurant scene is done (thank Christ) and all of the other scenes are pretty straight forward and simple.  We still have to shoot a scene where one of the girls jumps on Caine and makes out with him.  I told the actress that it’s really less of a kissing thing and more of a mauling his face with her tongue sort of a thing.  I always feel awkward about doing kissing scenes.  I think it’s a lot to ask.  I did it for Say Something and The Train Wreck.
When it really comes down to it though, a kissing scene really isn’t a big deal.  I stressed about the ones that I have done, but really when it’s all said and done it’s 5 seconds of skin touching.  It’s really not a big deal.  As long as everyone is professional about it, it really isn’t a big deal.  Maybe I should just stop worrying so much about them.  I’ve always sort of shyed away from them when writing, I should probably stop doing that.  I guess if I want to make this bigger, I should start walking and talking like a big time company.  And a big time company would have no problems with asking actors to kiss on camera.  Of course big time companies also pay their actors, but screw them, that’s not how I operate.
I’m watching Big, with Tom Hanks.  The memorable piano scene just finished.  Big is one of those movies that never gets old.  Big is also one of the movies that makes me remember why I like movies so much.  Big is essentially a comedy.  But really, what makes it so good, is the fact that it has a pretty deep message associated with it.  Basically, growing up can make people lose touch of what’s really important.  All of that aside, Tom Hanks was fucking brilliant in that movie.  He really does, pull off playing a kid really well.  Plus Kitty (Debra Jo Rupp) from That 70’s Show has a small part in it.  I’m serious, she plays Tom Hanks secretary Miss Patterson.  A little useless movie knowledge for you.  I totally want a pimp ass apartment like Tom Hanks has after he gets that job at the toy company.  With a trampoline and bunk beds and all that cool 80’s shit in it.
Penny Marshall directed Big and then went on to direct Awakenings and A League of Their Own.  Looking at IMDB, she directed one Episode of a TV series called A League of Their Own.  Shit, I don’t remember them turning that in to a series.  I can’t see it without Tom Hanks.
“There’s no crying!  There’s no crying in baseball!”
Tom Hanks is one of the few people on this earth that has a funny yell.  Nobody could have delivered that line better then Tom Hanks.  Anyway, the episode was called Dottie’s Back.  I think a better first episode would have been Evelyn’s Back.  She was the one that you find out died at the end.  It could have been a zombie series.  That would have been awesome.  I’ve never seen a zombie TV series before and giving it an obscure reference such as that would have amused me to no end.  Actually, rereading that, I see that’s a shitty idea.  What the hell is wrong with me?  I feel I’ve gone too far.  I’m just going to go.
I’ll keep you guys updated on the festival.

We shot the restaurant scenes for Nice Guys Finish Last and here’s what I have to say about that:
Thank fucking Christ they are done. 
There was so much prep work, planning, and organization involved and just about everything went wrong up to the point of the shoot.  Here’s a list of mishaps:
1. The first time I was supposed to shoot it, I fucked up and forgot to call people…..  By people, I mean everyone.  Opps.
2.  The second time we were supposed to film it, the owner of the restaurant was going out of town for something.  It turned out that we could still use it after all, so it worked out.
3. Extras cancelled on me, either three hours before the shoot or the night before.  One persons excuse was that the gas would cost too much.  Gabe says for this reason, I should start a black list, then when I’m famous and they call me to see if they can come to my release party, I can open up my black book and say “Say, you remember that time you were supposed to be an extra in my short film and said that the gas was too much the night before the shoot?  Well, good news, you can save gas again and go fuck yourself in the process.  Peace, bitch.”  Of course there is a possibility this will never happen, but it does make me smile to think about it.  Another person, after I shot a giagantic hole in they’re first excuse just said “……………….Yeah, I’m not going to make it.”  Wow, they didn’t even hide the fact that they were telling me to go fuck myself.  They may as well have said “Listen man, your piddly shit little short film doesn’t really interest me and in all honesty I just said I would do it, so I wouldn’t have to talk to you anymore over the phone when you asked me a week ago.  The fact that you’re fucked now doesn’t really concern me because I’m lazy and you can choke on a dick.”  I actually probably would have appreciated that more in all honesty.  From now on, when looking for extras I’m going to say this “Listen, if you can’t make it or don’t want to go, let me know, because if you bail out at the last minute, it’s going to fuck me.  It’s cool if you don’t want to go, just let me know, so I can get someone else if you’re not going to go.”  Simple, honest, to the point.  In the end this all worked out.  I’m not sure how.  All I know is, is that I had enough people for both scenes.  Through some act of God, that worked out.  Because I had like 6 people cancel on me. 
5. One of the actresses playing a waitress lost her voice and literally couldn’t talk.  She thought she would be unable to deliver her lines.  Her voice came back and she was able to deliver dialogue, but even when her voice returned she had already committed to not showing up.  I guilted her in to it.  She’s not on my black list.
6. The other actress playing a waitress got stung in the eye by some sort of killer death bug 4 days before the shoot.  Her eye swelled shut.  It was swollen one day prior to the shoot.  She didn’t think she was going to make it.
7. One of my camera men and two of my extras got lost on the way there. 
8. My boom mic operator had to drive somewhere else last minute due to a medical emergency.  So he was late as well.  Luckily, Kenny was able to fill in until he got there.
9. Two of my other extras got there too late to be in the first scene and had to leave too early to be in the second one we shot.  At least they showed up.  I felt really bad, but what are you going to do?
10. Fucking Chris forgot the Clapper.

So, how do I feel now that it’s over?  Like I just gave birth.  I’m so glad it’s done.  I looked at some of the footage yesterday and it came out really nice.  I really am proud of these scenes.  It was a lot of shit to pull together.  I think if we can pull this off, we’re capable of so much more.  It was sort of a benchmark for us.  In fact, I think NGFL will be a benchmark for us.  This thing is no joke.  It’s a 17 page script with a lot going on.  If we stay the same course, we’ll probably end up with the most polished and elaborate short film we’ve ever made.
I’m visiting my Dad all next week, so we all have a big break to let everything settle.  When I get back, we’ll be getting right back to it.  I want to finish up the other scenes ASAP.

So, I had planned to shoot a scene in a restaurant this Sunday, but it turns out the restaurant is not available to us this Sunday due to circumstances beyond my control.  So, I had planned to shoot some other scenes this Sunday.  But now, the restaurant scene is somehow back on.  This is kind of standard procedure.  Not much you can do about it, shit always goes wrong.  Sometimes it gets fixed and sometimes it doesn’t.  So, why the hell do I do this again?  I like pain, disappointment, and stress.  That’s why.
In other news, I wrote an E-Mail yesterday that I’m pretty proud of.  After all of the mishaps, Chris sent me an E-Mail saying:
“Fuck!  The devil does not want us to make this short film!”
My response:
“The devil isn’t in any scenes, so fuck him.”
I’m heading over to New York Film Academy today to meet with someone about the masters program.  I took a 12 week course there and loved it.  Comparing the stuff I did before film school to the stuff I did after film school is like comparing a Lamborghini to a Ford Focus.  Maybe school is the answer, maybe it isn’t.  If I have the opportunity to go though, I think I should.  Lots of great directors went to film school.  Steven fucking Spielberg for example.  Yes, the “fucking” was totally necessary in that instance.  Kevin Smith went to film school for like 1 semester up in Vancouver and then dropped out.  Looking at it, it kind of goes both ways.  Some great directors never went to film school, others have.  Either way, I’m excited about visiting NYFA today.  I really like the idea of getting a masters and film making is my passion.  So I suppose it makes sense.  All I know, is that if I get a masters, everyone is calling me “Doctor.”  Does that make sense?  Hell no.  But whatever.

I’m currently trying to gather up 16 extras for a Nice Guys Finish Last scene this Sunday.  I called pretty much everyone in my phone last night and we’ve been sending out E-Mails to a list that I came up with roughly a week ago.  It’s going to be in Arcadia, California in a restaurant on Sunday from 2-6.  E-Mail me if you’re interested. 
In other news it appears the web site has gotten quite a few visitors recently.  I’ve been getting tons of spam comments.  I wish they were at least amusing spam.  I once got an E-Mail that’s subject was “Destroy her pussy with a bigger love rocket!”  I thought it was hysterical, so I saved it for months.  But no, this is bullshit spam where there is just a BS link to God knows where.  Where the hell is the originality in that?
I want these restaurant scenes to be over with.  I keep stressing about it.  Once these two scenes are done though, I can shoot the rest of the film with a three person crew.  Two camera men and a boom mic operator.  That’s really all I need.  Of course it makes life easier if I have an extra set of hands available to me too, but I can get by with just three crew members.