John Q. Phats Entertainment

I tried something a bit different tonight. I’ve done a video blog. I’ve often scoffed at video blogs, but holy hell, it’s much harder then it looks. Most of the video the bottom portion of my face is cut off. Actually it was a style choice. That’s a lie. I’m just a shitty camera man and was too cheap and lazy to set up a tripod. I promised content, not good content. So, here it is, my video blog premier.

JQP Entertainment Video Blog- 10/4/2011 #1
Please note that if you want to check the video out tonight, Vimeo may still be converting it.

Wait 20 minutes and check back later. If 20 minutes later it’s still not available, read this line of the blog again.

Recently, I’ve been writing a movie script. That’s actually one of the reasons I haven’t been posting. It was kind of exciting because someone from some big time movie studio got a hold of it and actually read it. Although not that exciting. Allow me to explain. In my experience, leads like this never really pan out. First off, it could be anybody at the studio. It could be the janitor or someone in billing who is in just as good of a position as you are to actually get your movie made. Second of all, big deal, doesn’t mean your script is any good. I’ll read anything you put in front of me if I’m bored enough. Third of all, if they are someone whose capable of doing something with your script, it’s still a thousand to one. You’re an unknown writer with no background. They are either desperate or bored.
Enough of that happiness. They did actually read it and they were someone in a good position. Their words of advice: It’s too long and the funny parts aren’t that funny. Ouch. But not really. They were right. So, I started editing, which turned in to nitpicking to a degree that was unhealthy. I’m not exaggerating, I’ve read this script at least 400 times. So, this is it. I’m done editing it. I sent it off to some friends and told them that this is the furthest I can take it. Any other edits have to come from discussions or pointers from them. I’m not editing this thing any more. It does free me up for a project though. While I have other movie script ideas, I’m going to do a short film. And since I’ve neglected my website so much recently, it will be something for my website.
In closing, lesson learned. Sometimes you just have to walk away from a script. Especially if you’re as OCD as me.

You may have noticed a lack of posting lately. I apologize, but I’ve been working on a movie script. You can understand when the options are work on some new material or bs about old material. I’ve been spending 3+ hours a night working on this script. Lots of late nights and lots of rough days that followed because of those late nights. I do still have a day job that pays the bills. I finished a first draft last week and have been working on nothing but revisions since then. I have read this script at least 50 times. I read it, probably 4-5 times a day. It’s getting to the point where I am tempted skip pages because I have memorized them. So, I’m taking a break tonight and getting a fresh look at it tomorrow. Although, it’s hard not to think about it. Even when I’m not working on it, I’m thinking about what I can change. Give me a minute without any mental stimulation and my mind will wonder to the script. I’m not complaining, it’s actually kind of exciting. My editing sessions are getting shorter and shorter which means I’m getting closer to a final draft. I’ve written movie scripts before, but I’ve never really tinkered with them to the point where I have a final draft that I’m comfortable with.
I think the funniest thing about my edits is that I actually had to have a night where I went through and filtered out about 90% the “fucks” and variations of it. I don’t know what it is, but when I write, I tend to over use the word “fuck” to an insane degree. I’m totally fine with using it in a script but I think it has to have some sort of build up. Like you have to justify using it, instead of throwing it in there randomly as a word filler. I also tend to over use phrases in scenes. I don’t know if my brain just gets stuck on it or what, but there was a scene where I wrote “God job, bud” like 9 times from 5 different characters. I’ll try to write here more often, or maybe I’ll try to get Steven writing. I don’t know, but something is going to happen.

So, I did it.  I deleted the three crappy pages that I wrote on Red Hood and replaced it with 1.5 pages of awesome.  It wasn’t so bad and I feel like I can move on from here.  I sort of got stuck at the end of this last scene, but at least I left on a good note.  I’m kind of excited, I get in to the really good stuff soon.  It’s hard for me not to write something funny here and there.  That’s ok to do in a horror. 
Right? 
Right, and you know why, because I said so and it’s my script.  I mean, I’m not writing Schindlers List here, it’s an over the top vigilante flick.  Let the audience have a little fun with it.  Either way, I’m having fun writing it.  It’s great to finally get my idea on paper.
On top of my script updates, I would like to talk about the movie Real Genius.  Apparently, they are doing a remake of it.  At least that’s what it looks like via IMDB and various other internet sources.  In celebration of this, I figured I would discuss the classic 1985 version staring Val Kilmer.  Warning, there will be spoilers.    
Mitch Taylor (Gabriel Jarret) is accepted to an insane program for geniuses, focusing around developing some ultimate bad ass laser.  Mitch is all proper and shirt tucked in and shit.  He is partnered with Chris Knight (Val Kilmer) who’s the type of guy that would show up to a math class in a bathrobe.  When asked to do some crazy math shit, would yawn, scratch himself inappropriately, and then lazily stumble to the board and mathematically prove there was no Jesus while sending a text message.  They didn’t have text messages back then, so I don’t know, he would send a Morris code?  Fuck, who cares, you get the point.  Anyway, hilarity ensues.  Now in the beginning of the movie we’re lead to believe that Mitch is smarter than Chris Knight.  We soon find out that this is total bullshit.  While Chris Knight fucks beauticians, Mitch falls in love with some crazy OCD broad that power sands her floor at 3AM.  In fact Chris pretty much does everything better than Mitch and he’s cooler.
Lets move on to Kent.  Kent is the tool of the film and boy is he ever a tool.  The only thing is, he’s not very threatening.  I’ve never been able to take a grown man with braces seriously.  Why nobody punches him in the face is beyond me.  You can tell just by looking at him, he’s a little bitch.  He wouldn’t do anything, he would just run off crying.  Then when you passed him the halls his bottom lip would quiver and he would avoid eye contact.  At one point they put an antenna in this guys mouth and through a microphone convince him they are Jesus.  Here it is revealed that Kent masturbates.  I could have told you that before that scene.  That guy couldn’t get laid if he were a rug.  Still, hilarious all the same though.  After Mitch and Chris build the ultimate bad ass laser, after Kent fucks up their first one, cause he’s a dick.  The bomb is dropped that the laser is actually being developed as a weapon!  No shit?!  I’m sorry, but I assumed it was a weapon from the beginning of the movie.  What the fuck else are you going to do with a laser that blasts through concrete walls and statues and shit?  You’re going to blow shit up with it.  Mainly people.  As you can imagine Chris and Mitch are pretty pissed about this.  So, they hack the Gibson (kudos if you understand this) and use the laser to pop a bunch of popcorn in the main bad guys house to the point where the house splits in half.  Seriously, that’s what happens.  It’s pretty awesome.  
While I’m curious to see how they remake Real Genius, part of me want’s them to leave it alone.  It’s a great movie as is.  Who knows though, maybe the remake will be even better.  It’s old enough and wasn’t popular enough for enough people to remember it.  So, I doubt they’ll piss off much of a fan base if they screw it up.  And really, I wouldn’t care if they screwed it up.  The 1986 version would still be good.

A lot of people have asked me what’s going on with Red Hood.  Well, I got to page 72 about three days ago, but got there via a shitty scene that I’m more then likely going to delete.  This was very frustrating and still is.  So, rather then correcting the problem I’ve been avoiding the script all together, because I’m regretting having to highlight three and a half pages and hitting the delete key.  It just sucks to leave a script on a bad note.  I should have just not slept that night and rewrote it right then and there.  Rather then just leaving it because I was pissed that I wrote a terrible scene.  I’m curious to know how other writers deal with writing something they aren’t happy with.  They probably have a much better process then me.  Any other writers out there have any tips or advice of what to do when you write a scene or anything that you really aren’t happy with?  Comment below. 

Me and Caine have split up the workflow rather nicely.  I have an extremely specific vision in mind.  Here’s the problem though, I’ve really only envisioned the cool shit.  The kill scenes, the action sequences, the dark monologues, and the ending.  Everything in between?  Total blank.  No clue what is going on or even what I’m doing.  So, I stumble through some of the build up and set up.  Caine on the other hand seems to have a crystal clear vision of all the gaps in my story.  I’m not sure how, but he just seems to get it.  He’s written the stuff that makes me stare at my monitor with a “not so bright” look on my face for twenty minutes at a time.  I think that’s working out quite nicely. 

You could say that writing this is part of getting over the discomfort of the task at hand.  I’ll go home tonight, delete the scene and move on.  Mainly because I’ve now looked at the positive and it really doesn’t seem that bad. 

Other then this minor setback, it’s going fairly well.  I’m not thrilled with every scene, but it just a first draft.  My goal for the month is to have the first draft completed.  I think I can pull this off.    

Photograph taken and edited by awesome Alyssa Tucker.

So, either we have just 2 years left before the planet destroys itself or like the Y2K hoax nothing is going to happen and life will go on.  Either way, there’s nothing I can do about either of those so it’s time to have some fun and get down to business.  Unless of course John Cusack picks me up in a limo.  Then we can outrun earthquakes and lava.  That scene was absolutely ridicules and I loved every God damned second of it.  Just turn off your brain for movies like that, you’ll love them.  I liked that movie as a mindless action flick.  I got exactly what I expected.
With Do Nice Guys Finish Last all set and making its attempt at a festival run, I’m ready for my next project.  I plan to start 2010 right.  My resolution was to write a script whenever I get an idea.  I had way too many ideas last year that I’ve now forgotten because I never wrote them.  Sometimes they are entire long short films, other times they are just quick scenes.  I actually do really enjoy writing, but the hardest part is getting started.  So, no matter how bad or small the idea is, I am going to stop what I’m doing and write a script for it immediately.  We’ll see how that goes as I seem to get groups of ideas.  Hopefully I can keep up with myself.
Ellen Sandler is doing a seminar on January 23^rd in Los Angeles at The Writers Store.  I’m seriously considering going.  I really like her book.  Only thing holding me back is that it’s $150.  I could be spending that cash on my next short film.  Who knows though, this class might push me in another direction entirely.  For $150 I suppose I could find out.  I’ll keep you guys updated.  It could be a fun Saturday. 

Happy 2010 everyone.  Hopefully you all have a good year.

Dexter, season 4 starts on Sunday.  Rather then buy the DVD’s (Which I will probably do anyway) I think I’ll just watch the show this season like a normal person.  See, most people like the waiting and being left on a cliff hanger.  I absolutely hate it.  That’s why I usually wait for the DVD’s.  It just works out better for me.  That way, when an episode ends on a cliffhanger, I can just hit “Next Episode” on the DVD menu and be fine.  I’m very tempted to read the Dexter books, but I love that show way too much.  I’m afraid it might give something away.  I’ll read them when the show is over.  I’ve said this before, but Jennifer Carpenter is amazing on that show.  There’s an actress that has what seems to be an unlimited amount of potential.  The only movie I’ve seen with her has been The Exorcism of Emily Rose.  She was amazing in that.  I’ll probably watch her other stuff one of these days.  Apparently she has a movie coming out in 2011 called The Factory that takes place in Buffalo New York.  That’s kind of awesome.  I have somewhat of a connection to Buffalo New York.  First off the Buffalo Sabres are from there and my Dad grew up there.  While I’m a Ducks fan at heart, I certainly wouldn’t mind the Sabres winning the cup.  My Dad is a die hard Sabres fan.  If it ever came down to the Sabres vs the Ducks for the Stanley Cup, it would be a brutal couple of weeks for my family.  We would have to go to the games of course.  Which would mean traveling between Buffalo and Anaheim.  The games would be very tense.  We have gone to two regular season games where it’s been Buffalo vs Anaheim, once in Buffalo and once in Anaheim.  Both times the Ducks slaughtered the Sabres.  I was a little torn honestly.  On one hand my Dad was being somewhat destroyed, but on the other, the Ducks were winning.  The first goal, I did my usual stand up and cheer.  At around the third it just started to get sad, so I reserved myself to just clapping from my seat, shrugging, and saying “Sorry Dad.”  There were a couple smart ass comments from my Dad.  But they were all in good fun.  “So when are they going to do the flying v?” was something that was all in good fun.  I don’t want to know what would be said if we were in the Stanley Cup Final.  The Emilio Estevez cracks and The Mighty Ducks movie comments would probably turn in to “You’re a fucking disgrace to this family and you were adopted!”  I wouldn’t be surprised if a fist fight broke out.  I’ve got a slight reach advantage, so I could probably keep him at bay with some quick jabs, but my Dad was in the Coast Guard.  I bet he could probably grind me out till the later rounds and then move in for the kill.  You know, that isn’t a bad idea for a script.  A father and son have to deal with their respective teams going to the Stanley Cup.  I should look in to that.  There really aren’t enough hockey movies out there.  What the hell was I talking about?  Jennifer Carpenter?  How did I get on a fist fight with my Dad and hockey?  Anyway, Dexter season 4 is going to be awesome, Jennifer Carpenter is awesome, Ducks are awesome, and The Sabres are awesome. 
I should be doing the transitions with Gabe on Do Nice Guys Finish Last this weekend.  Probably Sunday.

We’re done cutting Do Nice Guys Finish Last.  Now it’s on to working out all of the little kinks.  Color correction, audio adjustments, and transitions.  It feel like an accomplishment to have cut it.  It’s come a long way.  From 18 minutes to just under 15.  Me and Chris talked about it this weekend and we’re not expecting it to get in to any festivals.  I think we established that from the beginning though.  It doesn’t make it a bad short film.  I think it’s a great short film.  I should say, it’s going to be a great short film.  There’s still a lot to work on.  I still am very surprised by how much you can get away with in the mockumentary format.  You don’t need a tripod, it doesn’t matter if there are mistakes here and there, and actors can stumble over their lines and get away with it.  It’s a fun format, but I think I’m going to be moving on to the next thing now.  I don’t see another mockumentary in my near future.  Although, it has changed my opinion on hand held camera work.  Even though we didn’t use a tripod we still got some really nice cinematography.  Maybe I’ll open up and use it in my next short film.  My main problem with it was that in short films it became a “style.”  I’ve heard film makers asked why they went hand held on their entire short film and they would say “That’s just my style.”  No, that isn’t you’re style.  %90 of the time it’s because they were either too lazy or low on cash to use a tripod.  I’m totally cool with both of those excuses.  But to cover it up with this rouse of “That’s just my style” is pretty lame.  Call it what it is.  I know low budget films don’t have access to fancy dollies or equipment.  But there are ways around that.  I feel like I’ve put cameras on everything.  Wheel chairs, roller blades, office chairs, at least 3 different home made dollys, carts, ect…  Whatever works.  Am I total hypocrite for shooting Do Nice Guys Finish Last all in hand held?  Probably, but that was my style, so piss off.  In actuality, I wanted to shoot all in hand held, I chose to shoot all in hand held, and I left my very awesome tripod at home on purpose.  Do Nice Guys Finish Last is a mockumentary, which means that it’s essentially a fake documentary.  In this case, I felt like hand held was necessary.  I really tried to think of how an amateur documentary film maker would film something like this and that’s why I chose to go all hand held.  Basically, I was trying to mimic the style of someone who didn’t know what they were doing.  Which actually was a lot of fun.  Kind of like when we built the murder chair for Red Hood.  That was a blast.  We built the entire thing out of wooden pallets.  What was awesome about it was that we got to put our selves in the place of how the main character would build something like this.  It was a total hack and slash job.  When something wasn’t holding we either attached another piece of wood to it with about 6 screws or we just tore it off and started again.  We figured the main character wasn’t a carpenter and she didn’t need it to look pretty.  It was purely functional.  I actually have a picture of it:

It’s not pretty, but it’s functional.  You can sit in it, it will support your weight, but it’s absolutely not comfortable.  This was a chair that the main character used to torture people in, so none of that really mattered.
I kind of strayed from my original point, but whatever.  My point is that sometimes bad camera work or shady craftsmanship is called for in a film.  As long as the audience knows it’s intentional.  With hand held, it’s very difficult to make it look like it was necessary and very easy to make it look like you as a film maker were just lazy.  That’s not to say that I haven’t seen films that were well done all in hand held.  I just feel like that “style” is extremely over used because it’s an easy out.
I saw two movies this week.  District 9 and Ponyo.  I’ll start off with Ponyo.  Ponyo is an anime movie by Studio Ghibli.  A guy named Hayao Miyazaki did Ponyo and he has somewhat of a cult following.  In fact Studio Ghibli itself has somewhat of a cult following.  I went in to the theater not knowing anything about the movie.  All I knew is that my girlfriend really wanted to see it.  I’ve only seen one other anime by Hayao Miyazaki and that was My Neighbor Totoro.  My Neighbor Totoro was an acid trip.  Much like Ponyo, only Ponyo seemed to be catered more for children.  I suppose My Neighbor Totoro was for kids too, but for some reason it seemed darker.  I’m not even going to begin to try and explain the story line to Ponyo.  You probably wouldn’t believe me anyway, if I did.  It’s just one of those things you have to see.  I thought it was great.  If I was a parent, I would roll up a joint, smoke it in the mini van on the way to the theater, buy three packages of milk duds in the lobby, and go away to the land of Ponyo for 4+ hours.  The movie is only 2 hours long but I would be sitting in the theater after the credits rolled either asleep or absolutely out of my freaking mind based on what I had just seen.  It’s probably a good thing I’m not a parent.  Awesome visuals in Ponyo and a story line that made me say out loud “Who the hell thinks of that?”  It’s incredibly imaginative and unique.  But you don’t need to be high to enjoy it.  I enjoyed it and I wasn’t high at all.  If I was high though it probably would have been a life changing experience.  Just know what you’re getting in to.  It’s an anime catered towards children, that’s an acid trip.
District 9 was absolutely awesome.  I loved that freaking movie.  I am totally going to see that in theaters again.  I’m a sucker for the horror sci fi genre, so maybe I can’t give the same opinion as the everyday movie watcher, but I thought it was great.  I was entertained throughout that entire movie.  The actors were all phenomenal in it, the cinematography was great, the special effects were awesome, the story line had me hooked from the very beginning, and the characters development throughout the story was amazing.  If you’re in to this sort of movie, go see it, it’s awesome.

I went on a bit of a writing binge last night.  For some reason a script I had an idea for has been popping in to my head a lot.  So, I sat down and started writing it last night.  The whole entire thing has sort of a smart ass tone to it.  I meant for it to be a series, but it’s kind of shaping up in to a movie.  It’s called Dead Girl and it’s kind of fun to write because I haven’t planned anything.  I just sort of sit down and write what ever comes to mind.  I’m not putting any pressure on myself to make it spectacular.  I’m just writing it.  It would be nice to have a full on movie script.  If I were a script writer, I would submit scripts to festivals like crazy.  Printing a script out costs you maybe a dollar.  In fact, I think a lot of festivals will accept an E-Mailed PDF.  Which is no shipping cost, no printing cost, and more importantly no production cost.  Plus, I can’t think of a better way to get a script out there.  If I finish Dead Girl, I’ll send it out to every script writing competition I can find.  Why not, right?
Censored was rejected from the Gangrene Film Festival yesterday.  This is only it’s 2nd rejection and it really only brought me down for roughly 20 seconds.  Mainly because there are about a million festivals out there and if I really wanted to, I could probably get in to another 4 by next month.  However, my focus is on Do Nice Guys Finish Last right now, which honestly, will probably have a much higher rejection rate then Censored.  So, it’s probably a good thing to be developing this tough skin at this stage.  The first rejection letter I got, really got to me.  I was upset about it for like a week.  This time it was 20 seconds.  Maybe next time, I won’t feel a thing.  It’s not that I don’t think Do Nice Guys Finish Last is going to be great when it’s done, it’s just that it’s sort of fighting an uphill battle.  It’s 15 minutes long and very offensive.  That’s pretty long for a short film and I’m guessing that film festivals want to appeal to a wider audience, so they kind of attempt to stay in the PG-13 area.  It doesn’t really matter to me though.  We made the film that we set out to make.  Worst case scenario?  I have a short film that I’m proud of to post on my web site.  Plus, I still have the SoCal Film Festival to look forward to.
By the way, Gabe just threw (literally) me edit six of Do Nice Guys Finish Last.  I think this might be our final cut.  We’ll see.  I’ll have to check it out tonight.  I really want it to be our final cut.  The last edit had very minor changes in it.  So, I’m pretty sure it’s almost there.

The Internet at my house is back up.  I’m not sure how it broke, or what was wrong with it, but the Internet company had to send a signal through to fix it.  When you’re someone like me, losing Internet is one of the worst things that can happen.  Seriously, it was really bad yesterday.  Last night, I’m sitting there messing with it and a couple times in the middle of it I thought to myself “I can fix this, I just need to look it up on the inter-  …..O yeah.”
I have a lot to talk about today.  Mainly, I want to talk about the new cut of Do Nice Guys Finish Last.  The way me and Gabe have been working on this is that he gives me the cut, I make notes on it, then hand them back to him to make the changes or corrections.  We are currently on draft number 4, soon to be on 5.  I have the 4th cut with notes on it all ready for him.  Once we have a final cut, we’ll do some color correction, and then transitions.  Transitioning from 1 scene to another is a big deal for this short film.  There are some scenes that make huge jumps in time in the same setting.  The only way to show that jump of time is through a transition.  It if goes from a straight cut, people are left sitting there thinking “What the hell just happened?”  I’m going to be doing some research on transitions later on this week.  I showed Do Nice Guys Finish Last to someone besides me and Gabe yesterday.  I was very happy to see that she laughed at all the right times.  She actually made a comment that really just pin pointed what I was going for.  She said “It was really funny, but it’s kind of true.”  That is exactly what I was looking for with this short film.  I wanted people to watch it and not only laugh because it was funny, but laugh because it was true.  Almost like a George Carlin stand up act.  What he says is hysterical, but the main reason it’s so hysterical is because it’s sort of true.  That’s what I was looking for.  I think maybe Do Nice Guys Finish Last is going to be better then I originally thought.  The audio and lighting are already all a step above everything else we’ve done.  I’m really looking forward to this being done and I can’t wait to start sending it to festivals.
On to the Project X news.  I got a script from the script writer last night.  I haven’t read it yet.  Something went wrong with the file format so I can’t exactly open it just yet.  But it’s awesome that I got it.  I should be getting another copy of it sometime today or tonight.  If this works out, this will be the first time I’ve directed something that someone else has written.  Actually, that’s not true.  I’ve directed one other thing that someone else wrote, but nothing really came of it.  So, it doesn’t really count. 
I’m still waiting to hear back from 3 other festivals.  I’m getting a little nervous.  The screening dates for those are pretty close already.  I figured I would have gotten some sort of rejection or acceptance letter by now.  I suppose if the film festival happens and my short film doesn’t play there, then it was rejected.