John Q. Phats Entertainment

Last night, on the way home, 3 ideas for short films came to me.  I told myself that I would write them out after I was done working out.  I finished working out and out of habit I turned on NHL 09 for Playstation3.  Midway through it’s start up, I realized that I wasn’t supposed to be playing NHL 09 and that I was supposed to be writing out some scripts.  I convinced myself to play just one game, which usually turns in to roughly 5 games.  I am so addicted to NHL 09, it’s not even funny.  Seriously, I’ve been playing that game for a year and I can’t stop.  NHL 10 comes out in 2 months and then it will all start all over again.  So, I start to play and I’m playing goalie mode and I’m not joking you, the computer scored like 4 goals on me in the time span of 1 real life minute.  Which is like 20 seconds in game time.  If you were in my kitchen at the time you would have heard:
“damn it………son of a bitch………SHIT!……….MOTHER FU- Screw this!”
 With that, I turned off the system and went upstairs and started writing.
I got a lot more out of writing those scripts then I would have gotten from playing NHL 09 for 4 hours.  I immediately sent one script to Chris and he really liked it.  It seriously is, the perfect short film for festivals.  It would run about a minute long, it’s funny, it’s quick, it’s clever, and it’s PG-13.  The best part is, is that I could probably shoot it in one day and edit it the next.  It’s a really simplistic and clever concept.  Maybe it will be something that I can pull off in between Do Nice Guys Finish Last and Project X.  I got the ball rolling on Project X.  Which needed to be done.  I looked at all of the information I had and just put it all together and sort of wrote out an outline.  Then I E-Mailed that to the script writer.  I’m excited to see how it comes out.  Also, I just got the new cut from Gabe, of Do Nice Guys Finish Last.  Needless to say, I’m glad that I suck at NHL 09 and that the computer saw it fit to destroy me.

You may have noticed by now, but I posted some out takes from the re shoot on Do Nice Guys Finish Last in the Shorts sections.  The Shorts section has now sort of become the Videos section.  Whatever works.  Really, who doesn’t like out takes?  One of my favorites ever is from a short film I did a long time ago called The Wake Up.  It was about two women who wake up in bed together.  One is straight and one is gay and they are both naked.  Of course I don’t show anything, but it’s implied.  Anyway, at one point both of the characters say “I’ve got a handcuff key in my bag” at the same time.  So, Kristen says it but the other actress, Jessica missed her line and didn’t say it.  Kristen without missing a beat says
“I’ve got a handcuff key in my bag and you didn’t say it, you God damned bitch!  I know you got one!”
I still have that footage somewhere.
The Wake Up isn’t posted here.  It’s not that I don’t like it.  It’s just that it was a very early short film in my film making “career.”  It was shot on a shitty little camcorder that I got on the Internet for like $200, the lighting, and color balance in each shot changes.  My directing skills weren’t quite there yet.  This was a really tough film for me.  I was a straight male writing about gay women.  I didn’t want to be offensive at all.  I wanted to tell a funny, kind of weird story.  Plus, finding actresses was tough.  It was a tough sell.
“Hey, I need you to appear to be naked, kiss another girl and fondle her a little bit.  Then I’m going to film it on a crappy little camcorder and possibly post it on the Internet.  O yeah, and I can’t pay you.”
After I did The Wake Up though, I realized that I could pull people together for anything.  The Wake Up has a lot of negatives, but there are some positives as well.  I think the beginning sequence is fantastic, some of the acting is great (I messed up directing wise a couple of times), and I actually really did like some of the cinematography.  I also think the story is pretty decent.  If I had written some better dialogue I think it would have been great.  This was only my second short film, so I think all is forgiven.  Here is the short film if you want to check out some of my early work.  You’ll also get a look at my very crappy 1st logo:
The Wake Up
Watching it again, I’ve actually changed quite a bit.  I wasn’t so biased about hand held camera work at the time and I actually kind of like it.  Maybe it will change my mind on how I feel about handheld stuff in the future.
 I started off talking about the out takes of Do Nice Guys Finish Last and ended up on a totally different topic all together.  That’s pretty typical for me.  Check out the Shorts section if you want to see the Do Nice Guys Finish Last out takes.

I watched 2 episodes of Science of the Movies last night.  That show is a big reminder of what I don’t have access to.  One episode was all about different moveable camera mounts.  There was this gigantic camera mount that had 12 points of axis that you could program to do motions over and over again.  It’s basically so you can layer two shots on top of each other.  Since the motion of two shots match perfectly, the two shots together look seamless.  I honestly had no clue that’s how it was done.  All of my split screen shorts were pretty much that, minus the motion.  I didn’t realize it, but I kind of stumbled on the early meathod of special effects.  That’s kind of cool.  I find that I do that a lot actually.  It’s kind of weird.  I don’t know if I hear about it somewhere else and subconsciously make myself feel like I thought of it, or if I really do come up with concepts that just happen to match what’s already out there. 
I am meeting with a script writer today to discuss Project X.  By spreading the word through my contacts, I’ve actually got some people interested.  Now all I need is a roughly $5000, an HD Camera, locations, equipment, skill, and food.  Huh.  Anyway, yeah, I’m going to be focusing on that.  It’s tough to juggle everything though.  Nice Guys Finish Last is almost done.  That’s going to need to go out to festivals and Censored is still going.  By the way, I submitted to something a while back called the SoCal Film Festival.  I really hope I get accepted to that.  That would be awesome.  Mainly because they would be holding it right near my house.  I could probably go to every night of that if I wanted to.  It’s literally a 10 minute drive vs an hour+ drive to the festivals Censored has been accepted to.  I would really like Censored to screen somewhere outside of California.  Don’t ask me why, I just think it would be cool.   Every time you get accepted to a festival they send you these little acceptance things:

Like that guy right there.  I suppose can put those on the DVD’s that I send out to other festivals as sort of a selling point.  Imagine if I get selected for all 4 of the other festivals I entered?  That will be 7 total.  That will look kind of insane.  You also get one if you’ve been nominated for or win an award at a festival.  Strictly Background had like a bajillion acceptance ones and 6 Best Documentary Award winners.  These things are actually called Laurels.  Every festival does them.  At least as far as I can tell, every festival does one.  I think they are kind of official and regal looking.  It’s kind of neat to have these.  Sort of like a digital trophy.  Hopefully when Nice Guys Finish Last is done it gets it’s own collection of them.

EDIT(7/29/2009- 3:32PM) – I just got an acceptance E-mail from the SoCal Film Festival.  That kicks so much ass.  I’ll give you guys all the details in tomorrows post.

Is anyone planning on going to the AOF ?  I think I’m going to check it out tonight.  I’m not sure what I’m going to see, but I’ll see something.  The first night I went we got a huge bag of SWAG.  Everyone loves SWAG.  Lets face it, if it’s free, someone will take it.  There’s a sign near my house advertising free dirt.  Anyway, the SWAG was mainly postcards of other short films.  There was a ton of them.  In the mix was also a DVD for a movie called Long Pig: Unrated Extreme Edition.  I’m going to take a guess here and say that it’s probably amazingly gory.  An independent film that’s unrated.  O yeah, there’s going to be some crazy gore in it.  I’ve seen some pretty intense stuff.  I really feel like, if I can watch Irreversible, I can probably make it through anything.  It’s not that Irreversible was gory, it was just hard to watch because of the context of it.  That movie was unrelentingly brutal.  I’m reading reviews of Long Pigs now.  Apparently, there’s an “anus scene.”  I’m not sure how I feel about that.  Revolted and curious at the same time I suppose.  I’m not much of a horror buff, but maybe I’ll check it out.  Or I’ll give it to my neighbor to check out.  He loves gory films. 
Gabe should be bringing my hard drive tonight with the scene we shot last Thursday for Nice Guys Finish Last added.  I really wanted Nice Guys Finish Last to be under 15 minutes.  I bet it’s probably going to run a little over 16 minutes.  Which isn’t bad.  If there’s no fat and every scene progresses the story line, I have no problem with that.  I suppose it is what it is.
I’m looking in to renting a theater to show Nice Guys Finish Last.  I thought it would be cool to have a sort of theater showing and get some feedback before I send it off to festivals.  I found one for $650 for one night.  If I charged $10 per person, I would have to have at least 65 people show up to break even.  I know, that I know that many people but weather they would be available or not is a whole different story.  I found another one that rents by the week and that was $1000 for 4 shows.  So, I would need to get 100 people there from Thursday- Sunday.  That’s actually not that bad.  I bet I could pull that off.  O wait, that’s just for a stage, not a screen and all that other crap.  Damn.  I bet I could get a projector though and rig something up.  In fact, I know a guy that has a projector and Gabe is in a band.  Bands have speakers and stuff, right?  I’ll have to get back to you on this one.  Or maybe I can have the actors act it out in real time on stage.  Wow, that’s a terrible idea.

Today is the day for the pick up shots.  I’m hoping for a small crew of just me and a boom mic operator.  Why?  Because, nobody likes pick up shots, I’m doing everyone a favor by keeping it minimal.  Plus I think it will make things go faster.  It’s not that difficult of a scene really.  I’ll head over there after work, go over the new dialogue with the actors, set up the lights, and then shoot.  Shouldn’t be too difficult.  I think I’ve gone over how much I hate pick up shots, so that’s established.  I still don’t think words could ever describe my true hatred for pick up shots.
Gabe got me the 2nd cut of Do Nice Guys Finish Last today.  I’m looking forward to checking it out.  Watching a short film over and over again has always been kind of tough for me.  In the book I’m reading (How Not to Make a Short Film), it’s outlined perfectly.  When you first look at all of your footage there are times you want to shoot yourself and times you want to celebrate.  Not per project, no, this all happens in one project.  I was actually very comforted to read that this is all normal.  The truth is, that nobody is closer to your project then you are.  If you see a flaw, it’s going to scream out at you every time you watch it.  That’s the first thing you’re going to see in fact when that flaw comes on screen.  Here’s what I do.  Upon first seeing all those flaws jump out at me, I let my brain freak out for thirty seconds.  This is usually just my brain saying “God damn it” over and over again.  Then I take a deep breath and try to think about ways to fix them.  If I can’t find a way to fix one, I show the scene to an impartial third party.  Sometimes I’ll even ask “Did you see anything wrong with that scene?”  If the impartial third party notices the flaw, then I have a potential problem and I possibly have to re shoot something or figure something out.  %95 percent of the time though, they don’t even notice it.  Sometimes I will run it by 4-5 people and %95 of the time, they all don’t notice it.  If they don’t see it, I’m making way too big a deal out of it and it’s passable.  Some times I’ll even add “Did you see that X was wrong with it?”  Most of the time, the answer is “I didn’t even notice that.”  That flaw will always jump out at me when watching the short film but at that point, I can live with it.  I never talk about the flaw again.  It’s over, it’s there, I’ve dealt with it, and %99 of the population probably isn’t ever going to notice it or care if they do.
Has anyone ever seen Science of the Movies?  It’s on the Science Channel every Thursday night.  It’s an amazing show.  I’ve started DVRing it.  The host of the show is named Nar Williams.  I want that guys job so badly.  All he does is goes to these different companies that offer different technologies in film making and asks them questions about how the technology works and then sees them in action and most of the time he gets to participate.  All of that aside for an aspiring film maker it’s an amazing look at new technologies in the industry.

So, the Action on Film Festival is happening this Sunday in Pasadena.  Where my film is being shown?  No clue.  The schedule says Academy 2 but I have no clue what that means.  They really aren’t making this easy.  Clicking on the schedule link on the web site leads you to a page with links for 2006 and 2007 schedules.  The 2009 schedule is available in PDF format here:
Action on Film Schedule
As you can see Censored is playing in the 4PM block.  What that means, I have no idea.  I guess it’s playing sometime around 4PM.  I have no clue what’s playing with my short film.  You can buy tickets here:
Action on Film Festival Tickets- Single Program Pass
Near the bottom of that page it says
“When you make your purchase be sure to write the name of the film you are coming to see in the memo portion of the confirmation form.”
So, I guess write “Censored” in the memo portion of the confirmation form.  I have to be honest, the web site looks kind of shady and doesn’t really seem like it’s working as it should.  E-Mail me if you want to attend and I’ll do my best to walk you through it.
I think by Academy 2 they mean The Regency Academy Theaters.  Just a guess though.

Last night I went through the first cut of Nice Guys Finish Last and made notes on it for Gabe.  I was up pretty late last night.  I slept right through my alarm this morning, which is pretty amazing.  Considering my alarm plays ultra loud metal off of a CD.  I have to say, I was pretty harsh on the edit.  There’s some stuff that I liked and some that I didn’t.  It is what it is.  If Gabe disagrees with me on something, we’ll talk about it and figure it out. 
It’s been awhile since I’ve uploaded something new hasn’t it?  I would really like to try and put something together soon.  I have a quote book of random quotes from friends of mine.  Sometimes I’ll flip through it for inspiration.  For some reason, it always makes me think of quick shorts.  Maybe I’ll do that tonight.  Actually, the quote book inspired both The Train Wreck and Bad Girlfriend.  Caine’s whole speech in Bad Girlfriend about Chris’s girlfriend was something that a friend of mine actually said to someone.  I’m not joking.  It’s always a lot of fun doing those.  It’s just a small crew that usually films something in one night.  Often times, what we filmed gets edited that same night.  We usually start around 8PM and finish editing around 5AM.  It’s always a good time.  I should do something like that while Gabe is making the edits on Nice Guys Finish Last.  Why not, right?

Is anyone in the market for an older then old Nextel?  Here is a list of the features:
E-Mail: No
Internet: HA HA HA HA HA !
Text Messaging: …..Sort of
Instant Messaging: No
GPS: No
Touch Screen: No
Color Screen: …..Sort of
Buttons: Yes!
Phone: Yes!

You could drop this thing in to a volcano and it would still work.  O yeah, and it might be broken.  It’s not much of a phone, but it is a good conversation piece.  I used to call it the Zach Morris special edition.  That got me laid quite a bit.  Not really, but it could, if you’re good looking.
I’m still in the process of going through what I can part with.  You know it’s getting bad when you’re looking at your refrigerator thinking:
“Really?  How valuable is cold food to my living situation anyway?”
I’ve thought of some other ways to make some money.  I’m thinking about holding a showing for Nice Guys Finish Last when I’m done with it and charging like $10 a ticket.  That seems like a bit much but, I’ve had a lot of friends that have said they would pony up to help me out.  I would also probably show some other short films from some other film makers.  That’s a big maybe though.  I’m not really interested in hosting my own film festival.  So basically, if I know someone and they want to show something, sure, why not?  I’ll be sure to keep you guys updated on the progress of Nice Guys Finish Last and if I decide to have a showing for it.

So, we have a first cut on Nice Guys Finish Last.  It came out pretty good.  It’s 18 minutes long.  Right off the bat, I see a couple things that would shave off like a minute or two.  Either way, I don’t think the festival version will be having any credits in it.  Gabe did a pretty good job on the first cut.  I think there are some other takes that I would like to experiment with.  Apparently Gabe had a tough critic in the room while he was editing last night.  Someone he doesn’t know was saying stuff like “What is this?  Are you guys in high school or something?”  I kind of wish I was there for that.  I say, tear it to shreds, I want to know the people that hate it and why they hate it.  If she could give me 20 specific, valid reasons why it was bad, I would want to hear all of them.  Only way you’re going to get better is if people tell you what you did wrong.  On the plus side, she did say that some stuff was funny.  Gabe said there were scenes where she actually said “OK, that’s funny.”  Anyway, the first cut is a good start.  Apparently I forgot that one of the cameras had a polarizing lense on the front of it.  Some of our outdoor scenes look a little off but that’s ok, we can fix that with some color correction.  I was actually surprised, but Gabe usually stuck with one shot for an entire scene, so it really wasn’t that big of a deal.  It shouldn’t take us too long to correct it.  The colors are fine in doors, it’s just a couple of the outdoor scenes that look a little off.
I wrote a blog yesterday about the book I’m reading, How Not to Make a Short Film.  The author of the book (Roberta Munroe) responded to my blog in a comment.  The Internet, let me tell you.  That’s the second author I’ve had communication with this month.  Sometimes I forget that the little name on the bottom of the book is actually a person. You can check out the comment in my last blog, she had some words of wisdom for aspiring film makers.  It was all good stuff.  I wonder if Kevin Bacon will ever respond to my Bacon Dick blog.  Probably not.  I wonder if he would be pissed?  If I were a celebrity, I would take the Bill Murray approach.  Apparently if someone recognizes him, he does some sort of weird dance followed by a bunch of random acts then says “Nobody will believe you” and then runs off.  I’m sorry, but that is genius.  I want him to adopt me.  I’m 27, but still.
Yesterday, I found an awesome site for royalty free music.  Check it out:
 Inomptech Royalty Free Music
The search feature is great. You can search by musical genre or the mood of the music that you’re looking for.  I was extremely surprised by the amount of quality music that’s on there.

I need money to make my new short film.  Plain and simple.  In the past I’ve resorted to selling my personal belongings.  I sold a couple old cameras, video games, furniture, computers, really whatever I could get my hands on.  I think I can make my new project for roughly $2000.  Things I haven’t tried yet are selling sperm and blood.  I should try to sell some blood, I have O-, which everyone can take.  Obviously, God wanted me to sell blood, so I can make this short film.  I’ll have to look in to that.  I’m not sure how I feel about donating sperm.  I would feel really sorry for the woman who gets that sperm.  It would almost be like playing a really cruel joke on someone.  I think one of me is enough.
I’ve been reading this new book called How Not to Make a Short Film by Roberta Marie Munroe.  She’s done just about everything on a short film and used to be a programmer for Sundance.  Needless to say, her advice is valuable.  She’s already listed a couple things that I’m guilty of.  For one, when submitting your short film to festivals, don’t put your companies logo in the front of it.  Nobody has heard of your company and furthermore, nobody cares what the name of it is.  I’m totally guilty of this.  There are a couple things in the book that I don’t agree with though.  In one section there are different budget brackets.  The first bracket is $11,000.  That’s the first bracket.  They slowly ascend to $75,000.  Basically what that tells me is that according to this book, you can’t make a decent short film for under $11,000.  It lists all of the equipment and crew you need.  I totally and completely disagree with that.  $11,000 for a short film is bloated to me to say the least.  Robert Rodriguez shot El Mariachi for $7000 and most of that budget was spent on the camera.  And that was an 80+ minute long movie.  The example the book uses is a 15 page short film.  And it’s using the time frame of a 2 day weekend shoot.  Maybe I missed something in the interpretation, but that’s what I’m getting out of it.  Later on in the chapter there is an interview with a film maker who made a successfull short film for roughly $4500.  One of the things listed in the $11,000 budget is a continental breakfast for a 35 person crew.  Go to the supermarket, buy some fruit, get some yogurt, granola,  some bread to toast, little orange juice, some bagels, put someone who will work for free on food prep duty, and there’s your continental breakfast.  Better yet, go to Togo’s and order a sand which platter, they’re like $40, I do it all the time.  Also, 35 person crew?!  Are you serious?  That seems bloated to say the least.  I shot Censored with an 8 person crew and I had no clue what I was doing and that seemed bloated and that’s been accepted to festivals.  I shot Nice Guys Finish Last most of the time with a 4 person crew.  I shot Say Something with a 5 person crew and it cost me like $100, if even that.  That was an 8 minute long short film that all of my teachers(who were industry professionals) thought was great.  Maybe I’m just not at the level she’s at yet, but Jesus Christ.  If Robert Rodriguez can make a good movie for $7000, I can make a 15 minute short film for way under $11,000.  I think, anyone can shoot anything they want for free, they just have to know the right people and make the right moves.  Don’t get me wrong, Roberta Marie Munroe is a smart lady and she wrote a great book.  I would recommend How Not To Make a Short Film to anyone.  It’s got some good stuff in it, I just can’t agree with that one point.
On to my next order of business.  Is anyone in the market for blood and/or sperm?  I’m selling.