John Q. Phats Entertainment

Me and my girlfriend have been slowly watching the True Blood series on DVD recently.  The general story is that vampires have come out and admitted that they exist and that there’s this product called True Blood that vampires drink instead of feeding on people.  The main characters are straight out of hicksville USA, so the show sort of has a racial undertone.  There’s people who are for vampire rights and people who are against them.  Here’s what I’m saying though.  I don’t hate the vampires because they’re vampires.  I hate them because they are dicks.  Pretty much every vampire on that show is a gigantic douche.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great show, but I can relate when a character wants to bash a vampire in the face with a shovel.  Of course I’m only like 5 episodes in, so maybe my opinion will change.  I think it’s an awesome show.  I’m somewhat addicted to it. 
About a week ago, I found an old thumb drive that I’ve been looking for.  On it were a bunch of somewhat old scripts.  Some of them were kind of funny.  One of them was really dirty, without really being dirty at all.  The title of it was Foodophile.  Here it is:
EXT. PARK – DAY
DAVID sits down on a park bench with food in hand ready to eat.  He’s holding a box full of chicken wings.
As soon as he sits down VALERIE sits down next to him.  They both look at each other and smile.  VALERIE has a Weinerschnitzle bag. 
DAVID picks up a wing and eats all of the meat off of it.  He looks over and realizes that VALERIE is seductively licking a french fry. 
DAVID stops and starts to slowly stick his finger between the opening of the two bones.
VALERIE pulls a hotdog out of the bag and begins to stroke it as if it were a penis.
DAVID puts the bones to his mouth and starts to lick in between them as if it is a vagina.
VALERIE puts the hotdog in her mouth as if she is giving a blowjob. 
DAVID smiles and continues stimulating the fake chicken clit.
VALERIE grabs a handful of chocolate milk shake and smears it in to her mouth and face.
DAVID stops dead in his tracks.  He stares at her in shock.  He gets up and walks away.

I’m not sure what I think of it.  It’s kind of sick, wrong, and awesome all at the same time.  I had some other stuff on there that I think I wrote when I was drunk or something.  One was about a woman having sex with a blender.  Don’t ask. 
In other news, my web designer added a new add on to the site which filters out spam.  JQP Entertainment- 1, Spammers- 0.  Also, internet at my house is out.  I’ll try to find a computer to update on this weekend, but I make no guarantees.

So, I’m in the home stretch of Nice Guys Finish Last.  We shot some good stuff last night.  I’m starting to get the feeling that a lot of actors and actresses tone things down a bit too low.  Whenever I’ve told actors to go a bit over the top, I get some really good stuff out of it.  Of course, I could just be lucky.  I think I have a pretty good system worked out.  I try to do everything by the script exactly.  When I feel like the actor is comfortable with the dialogue, I make slight adjustments in tone here and there.  Then, if I feel like I need to, I make adjustments in the dialogue.  When I feel like I have what I want, I tell the actor for the last take to go crazy and to do whatever they want.  It’s worked for me so far.
My next project is going to be pretty big and I’m going to need to shoot it in HD.  Does anyone want to let me borrow $5000 for an HD camera?  By “let me borrow” I mean, “let me steal.”  Because, I probably wont be paying you back.  I think it’s a sound investment though.  If I ever get famous you can tell everyone
“Fuck that guy, he stole $5000 from me!” 
Think about it.  If I become the next David Fincher, it would be the same as if someone told you today that David Fincher stole $5000 from them.  It’s a conversation starter.
“Hi, how’s it going?  Did you know that David Fincher stole $5000 from me once?”
I think $5000 for a conversation starter is pretty cheap.  Even if I don’t become famous, you could say something like
“Some asshole who thought he was going to be the next David Fincher stole $5000 from me.  What an asshole that guy was.  Stupid asshole.”
Anyway, give me money. 
In other news, the spammers hit me pretty hard last night.  14 comments in one night.  That’s a new record.  So, if anyone wants cheap Viagra or V1agra, whichever you prefer, I got the hook ups.