John Q. Phats Entertainment

I posted a new short.  I named it Stuck.  It didn’t have a title until like 30 seconds ago when I posted it.  Actually it’s just an experiment with some split screen stuff that we are working on.  It’s a fun concept.  As long as you keep the camera steady and nothing moves in the background, you can make two shots look like one.  I’m about to get a bit techy here, I apologize in advace.  All you have to do is lay one shot over the other and mask out the half of the shot on top that you don’t want.  And you can set keyframes to all of the points of the mask.  That’s all this is.  I actually think we screwed up a little bit on this one.  That light in the mirror flickers which leads to irregularities when you switch from one shot to the other.  You live and you learn I suppose.  I’m looking forward to doing something normal.  I’m tired of this not moving the camera bullshit.

Ever since I figured out that you can make two shots look like one, I’ve had sort of a hard on about the idea.  This short actually consists of 4 shots total.  This is just something we thought up on the spot.  I like stories that don’t really have an explanation because they don’t need one.  This is the shoot where God damn Chris moved the beer and made us shoot the entire thing all over again.  Bastard.  It actually wasn’t that bad.  Everyone knew what to do at this point, so all the shots went extremely fast.  We shot a little extra where Caine is screaming at Chris about moving the beer while doing an impression of Christian Bale yelling at that DP on the set of the new Terminator flick.  I might post that a little bit later.

So, we are reshooting the split screen stuff that I screwed in the face.  In order for this method to work, everything has to stay the same.  The props can’t move and the camera can’t move.  So, we are getting ready for the LAST shot and Chris casually sits down, grabs the beer on the table that he’s not supposed to move and just sort of holds it just for the hell of it.  I see what he’s doing and yell “Chis!  You’re not supposed to move that beer!”  He realizes what he’s done, looks at it, and then quickly puts it back.  Only at that point it was too late. 
Caine went in to denial:
“No!  That won’t matter!  It’s fine!”
Chris tried to fix it:
“We can look at the old footage and line it up!  It’s fine!”
I just put my face in to my hands and said the one thing that is appropriate for every screw up on the planet:
“Fuck!  God damn it Chris!”
Then they all accepted it. 
Caine said:
“No…..we…….can………Shit.”
Chris Said:
“I swear to God we can fix it!  We just have to line it up!  We can………..Shit.”
Then I said:
“…….Alright, lets do the first scene…….  Again……..  Thanks to Chris!”
All in all though it actually worked to our advantage.  I had gone through the adjustments and everything by that point and everyone knew what they were supposed to do.  So we pretty much shot the entire thing all over again in roughly 30 minutes.  Pretty much every shot was done in one take.  Plus now I have something to hold over Chris’s head for the rest of his God damned life.  Even though, I think the takes after the fuck up were better then the other ones, it’s still something I can get on his case about.

This is an introduction that we shot for the web page.  I know, it’s very late.  This is actually the beginning of some tests that we did with split screen stuff.  All it is, is two shots made to look like one.  Me, Chris, & Caine have been getting together once maybe two times a week recently just to shoot something.  Even if we don’t have a clue what we are going to shoot.  It’s been fun so far.  This is something that we thought up right on the spot.  It gets a pretty good laugh.  Enjoy.

So, yeah, I totally screwed one of my short films in the face.  We are experimenting a lot with split screen stuff trying to make 2 shots seem like one.  It works great, the only thing is, you can’t move the camera an inch between shots.  If you do, the two shots don’t line up.  Not sure how it happened, but somehow the camera got moved between shots.  I honestly hate being camera man and director all at the same time.  It’s way too much work.  What I need is a midget and a step ladder so the midget can reach the camera.  That will be my next purchase. 
I got my light kit!  It’s small, but really decent.  They don’t look like much, but when you turn them on it’s like a bookakalypse of sunlight.  I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this or not, but my camera is named Div.  My nick name for it because part of it’s model number is “DVX.”  Not sure how I got Div out of that, but whatever.  My boom mic is named Awd.  Short for “Audio.”  So, I needed a name for my light kit.  Caine came up with Rah.  Named after the sun God.  I name all of my equipment.  Yes, I even have a name for THAT equipment.  It’s named Carl’s Jr.  You’ll find that the slogan “If it doesn’t get all over the place, it doesn’t belong in your face” works quite nicely with it.
Getting back on track though, I need a room mate that has no social life that knows how to work a camera.  That would be perfect. 

P.S. Can you believe “bookakalypse” wasn’t in Words spelling dictionary?!  Bastards!  I should write them a letter!